Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Dearest Theodore

Dearest Theodore,

By now you have met your lovely Grandi.   I am sure that he threw his arms around you and peppered you with a hundred kisses all over your face because he hasn’t been able to do that yet.  So it would be fitting even though you are 23 today.  And then maybe he growled in your ear a little bit - that playful growl he does when he is so happy to see someone.

He has talked about you lots.  I have heard him mention you in his sermons.  He has talked about how sometimes we go through really really hard times and we always have to run to Jesus in those deepest painful moments.  That we should never run AWAY from Jesus - but run TO him.  I was always proud when he mentioned you in sermons - sort of like a proud mom - like it was always special to get into one of his sermons. 

I don’t know how birthdays work in heaven.  Did he make you a cake?  I have always wondered every year on your birthday how they celebrate in heaven.  I have always wondered if Jesus baked you a cake - this year I have wondered if Grandi baked you a cake.

I am sure that he is sitting with you in his beautiful garden drinking a cup of tea and talking about his family, and talking about Mosaic - how it’s the best Church in the world to go to, or talking about Taiwan and his heart for China.  Or maybe he is just talking about his beautiful flowers in heaven; exquisite flowers and giant roses that he has never seen before.  I am sure it’s an amazing garden - so full of lovely, precious flowers and blooms. And there aren’t any dandelions at all.  And maybe he will take you fishing after he has had his cup of tea. 

You are 23 today.   Wow.  It seems so long ago - but only a moment ago that I held you in my arms and said good bye.  My heart is a little bit raw today.  But there is a little part that is comforted and warmed - knowing that you get to spend your first birthday with Grandi this year. 

I love you deeply.  My heart aches to my toes.   You will always be missed and our family will never be totally complete even though I know that you are with Jesus and you are happy.

Happy Birthday, my dearest Theodore.  I love you to Heaven and back.

With all my heart,


  1. It is so amazing to think of life , ... a new life in heaven...sometimes it just seems so unfathomable , and other times it appears tangible ....bless you Faith for sharing your letter....

  2. I just read this. This is not Neil but Susan. I felt the same way for Theodore and grandi. It was quite amazing to read it....Special Faith. I love you and I understand the feeling you feel on his birthday because I feel the same when Prestons birthday comes and I never got to hold him and say grannysue loves you. I only saw pictures. I miss him down to my toes. I feel the pain and pride and specialness that you feel about your son. May God's special peace hold you this day as you remember and celebrate a first birthday for Theodore and Grandi together......Susan