Have you ever heard of the computer tech guy saying, "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" to a frantic customer who calls in about a computer not acting right?? There is even a show on the television whose signature is this very question because it's about some guys who are set in an office that fixes computers.
Apparently, the body works very similar to that. Last week I had to have a procedure called a cardioversion. It is a procedure where an electrical current is sent to the heart to make it stop for only a second. Then they start it up again in hopes that it regains a correct rhythm - much like a computer. Because I am not actually a computer, but a HUMAN, I was terrified about it - imagining all kinds of scenarios. It does come with risks, but so does crossing the street every morning. I felt much better about it after talking to the doctor. He was able to calm my fears and put some perspective into the situation.
As one does when they are coming close to a day that they think might be significant I have done a lot of soul searching these last days. I wasn't sure what to expect. I have asked God to show me if there are things in my spiritual heart that does not resonate with the One who created me. I have searched my heart to make sure that it is soft and pure before God and people around me. It's interesting that many times a physical issue mirrors a spiritual issue. Jeremy and I have seen this many times.
David in the Bible said this: Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.
I asked God to show me if there was anyone that my heart wasn't right with; anyone with whom I needed to make peace in my own spirit. You know. that's really one prayer that the Lord likes to answer. Gently he began to put his thumb on certain areas of my heart. Hurts I have gained while pastoring, pain I have adopted while growing up and even issues I have had with God Himself about decisions that he has made in my life.
The thing about issues of the heart is that hurt is sometimes justified but it's never very helpful. In fact, hurt if left there to fester will only rob from you. It robs you of your joy and your peace while the person who wronged you has gone on with their life sometimes completely oblivious of your internal struggle.
I love what Jeremy has been saying as he has been preaching (ironically about the issues of the heart.) Sometimes the answer is so simple but it isn't always easy.
The answer to hurt and to pain towards someone in your life is to let it go. Simply to let it go. These last days as I had been preparing to get my physical heart reset, I have been resetting my spiritual heart. I was ready to let it all go. I was ready to take any hurt that I feel, wrap it up in a big giant grocery bag and hand it to the One who can handle the difficult issues of life; who can replace it with peace and joy.
You see there is something interesting about the heart. Most of the time, you don't notice it's beating. You don't even think about it as you are going about your daily business. That is, until there is something wrong. Then it becomes a big part of your life. It limits you. It worries you. You begin to make decisions around it. You begin to pull back just in case it starts acting up. You begin to put dreams on the shelf. It's the same way with the spiritual heart. You don't really notice it until something goes wrong. Then you feel the pain, the hurt, the debt, the jealousy, the pressure of wanting it to be the way it was. When you feel that pressure; that discomfort in your heart - there is something wrong and you have to deal with it.
Today, I went downstairs and danced to lovely worship music as I often do before I go to work.
This time something was different. This time, my heart did not go into palpitations - something that has happened everyday for a long time. When I was finished, I was so touched. This morning, I felt free.
Both my physical heart and my spiritual heart are in sync with the fresh steady beating of the Holy Spirit - of the One who created my heart.