I was young and impetuous and a little bit angry at God. I was twenty one and pregnant with my first child. I had had a job that I loved but standing for hours on end was so hard on my back. ( Must have been those heels. ) So I quit work in order to get ready for my small miracle.
But this particular day, I was angry. We didn't have any money. I needed the job I quit. Jeremy sold insurance but even though he worked really hard at it, business just wasn't good.
The day started out grumpy and tired and nauseous as a lot of pregnant days start. Jer was at work and I really needed breakfast. We didn't have any peanut butter or jam or butter left. We had no cereal. We had no groceries~ no food in the house at all. But we had two crusts left from our loaf of bread. That was it. I slammed the crusts down into the toaster sighing heavily.
Doing something else that needed to be done around the house I returned a few minutes later to the toaster; to my two crusts. I was just going to eat them dry. To my horror when I took a look, they were burnt!! Burnt to a crisp! My last two crusts. Something was horribly wrong with our toaster.
I looked upwards. "God, I am tired and I am hungry and I am ANGRY!! I am going to walk over to that couch and I am going to go to sleep and I don't want to wake up for a little while. I don't want visitors. I don't want anyone phoning. I don't want anyone knocking on the door. I don't want any interruptions!" (Yes, I was quite bossy back then.)
I walked over to our brown plastic couch and threw myself onto it, falling into an uneasy and fitful sleep. I hadn't been there for longer than a half an hour when suddenly I was jarred awake by my phone ringing. Angrily, I jerked my head up again, "God you can't even answer that small simple request?!?!" I yelled.
"Hello?" I said grumpily.
"Hello? Faith?" It was my former boss on the other end. "Would you let me know your bank account number? I have some vacation pay that I need to put in there for you. I figured you might want it right away." She was right - I did and it was enough to buy quite a few groceries for us.
I learned something that day. You never know what God is doing when He isn't answering your "small, simple" request the way you would like Him to. I am so thankful that He is a God who provides, even when you are grumpy...
What a beautiful reminder. We forget so quickly, don't we? No matter our mood or circumstance, we are covered. His eye is on the sparrow.... Thanks for sharing this :)
ReplyDeleteHis eye is on the sparrow. So true, thank you Alanna.
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