tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79924551538158997152024-02-18T21:55:55.011-08:00Through Eyes of FaithFaithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-55094234978558625022017-01-01T09:24:00.003-08:002017-01-01T09:24:40.496-08:00My New Word!<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd7X6LnedtV9uvEPi5cLD3lC-FJXEBhH-G3QflP5nJW_PzWDt5xMGE-q2GCGyCA6lXO-zom0_WncE6a42PxvXjbozRG8lohZOTqwKRg77w9BNWRZcqrWBPWSHtYV0A6dpYIvh4bafjmJVp/s1600/2017NewYear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd7X6LnedtV9uvEPi5cLD3lC-FJXEBhH-G3QflP5nJW_PzWDt5xMGE-q2GCGyCA6lXO-zom0_WncE6a42PxvXjbozRG8lohZOTqwKRg77w9BNWRZcqrWBPWSHtYV0A6dpYIvh4bafjmJVp/s320/2017NewYear.jpg" width="240" /></span></a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">I always choose a new word for my life in the coming year. I have thought about this as the year has approached and I am going to do something that I have never done since that first year that I started doing this. I am not choosing a new word. I am staying with the word that I had last year.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">In times past, at Christmastime, my month has looked like this: </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>We hosted a Church banquet with our church and then hosted a Christmas party at our house for our home group. </i></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>I hosted Muppet Christmas Carol for family and friends and had tons of goodies and appetizers and had a GREAT time.</i></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>I hosted a pyjama party for the ladies (watching a chick flick and exchanging gift pyjamas.).</i></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><i> I hosted an elegant ladies tea serving specialty tea in real china cups and offering yummy goodies on my beautifully landscaped Christmas table. </i></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>I hosted our family Christmas - every other year it’s on Christmas. On the other year, we choose a different day to celebrate Christmas.</i></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>I co-host an Empty Arms group and in this group, every year we went to the grave and lit candles and sang carols for our angel babies. Often we went back to our place for hot chocolate. Then during that season, many of us would all go out and have a nice dinner together because we have formed a tight group of friendships bonded by hard times. </i></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>On the 28th of December is my son’s birthday and because December is the hardest month to be born in, I always wanted to make sure that his birthday got recognized and wasn’t just glossed over because of the busy month. I have always had elaborate birthday parties with elaborate goody bags at my house for all of his friends. Then as his friends trickle out and go home, I clean up so that I can have the family birthday party. </i></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>On New Years Eve, I would (with the help of Tiffany - she was a big help in this) clear out everything Christmas and decorate the entire house with the theme of the murder mystery we were doing that night. This was a HUGE event and we invited tons of people and at that time, our church was primarily a young adult church. This would be a party not just for the midnight partiers but it would go way past midnight, into the wee hours of the morning. </i></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>This was all in between Christmas shopping, an evening set aside to look at the lights and Christmas bake exchanges and all of the other normal things one does for Christmas. </i></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">Are you tired yet? </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">This year, my December looked quite different. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"> You see, this is hard for me because I am a party girl at heart and I love to do everything. But one year, I had meningitis on the New Year’s Eve. We didn’t know what I had but we knew that I was sick so I just kind of propped up on the couch and as people came for the party (because goodness, we CAN’T cancel) I stayed there on the couch the entire evening in quite a bit of pain. I did manage to have fun though because I AM a social person. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">The next year, found us in the ER with Jeremy’s blood pressure through the roof. At this time, Jeremy and I looked at each other and said “We are putting too much on our plate at Christmastime. Something has got to give.”</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">Over the last years, I have intentionally learned the rhythm of a slower life. I have listened to my body more - I have stopped pushing and pulling it into submission to my big plans and goals and listened to when it said I had had enough.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">I have decided that if I felt stressed and my stomach was tied up in knots, I am to sit and reassess as to whether I am doing too much or not. I don’t want to live in stress anymore. I don’t want to be driven by programs and obligations or even parties. I don’t want to drill my body into the ground thinking that I have to do it all to enjoy the season.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">This year was perfect. I chose only the things that were my priority this year. I chose family. I had Christmas. I had muppet Christmas Carol. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">I had a beautiful tea with fabulous work friends and went to the sweet candle light service at Victory. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">I am learning about myself. I am learning about what I really want - what really makes me tick; what really fulfills me and makes my heart full. I loved doing all the things that I did in the past but there was a season for it and the season has definitely passed. Sometimes we aren’t aware when our seasons have passed. Sometimes it ceases to be a party and begins to be an obligation that you are stressed over. Often we forget to listen to us.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">Last year, was a crazy year. So much learning about myself; about what was really important; about what I really want to do and where I want to make a difference.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">Last year, we had to let our Church of 10 years go. It was a painful time in our lives - one that still invokes questions and will for some time be a soft splintery spot in our heart.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">Last year, I had a cardio version to help stop the palpitations that were plaguing me almost every day. I am much healthier for it. I am very grateful for that. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">In August, I got to watch my brand new baby grand daughter enter this world. She is adorable!</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">Finally this last year, I published, not ONE but TWO beautiful colouring books with inspirational prose. Wow, something that I have wanted to do for years and something that has opened up a new way of thinking and living.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">There were a myriad of other things that happened this last year - my almost 16 year old dog was laid to rest. My son moved out on his own this year also. Both of those things make for very very quiet evenings when my husband is out of the country.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">When 2015 came to a close, I wrote a blogpost about my word. It was ME. (<a href="http://faithhazell.blogspot.ca/2016/01/me.html" target="_blank">Check it out here)</a> This year, it’s the same. There are still things that I need to concentrate on here. There are still things that I need to discover about myself. There are still things that I know the Lord is tugging on my heart to work on. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">So I camp here a little longer at this word. </span><br />
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b>Me.</b></i> </span><br />
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">Not because I am not creative or I am mildly selfish, but because I am still discovering who I am - even more now than ever. I am discovering what I want, who I am. I have come so far, but not fully ready to move on, in a good way. NO need to move from this spot so quickly. NO need to run away. I am here. It’s important here. It’s sacred here and I will stay here until it’s time to look to other goals, other words, other focus. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">I am here. Just here. And it’s beautiful.</span><br />
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Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-41882217007177245772016-11-28T06:18:00.000-08:002016-11-28T06:37:14.947-08:00Hope<span id="goog_1031194154"></span><span id="goog_1031194155"></span> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgEwFkPe034lJjrLWbx_lGEudwxfOSgEKJPNtFMBgpcnTHhWHxzNP6-0LCS2wSJxl_sHcHsxwS_uFu50ZaSN0F1RPEIQ9-RXJ2xcILIgW5AeuwXfAC0RSD8ftU9x1LXflOdlLfBJomvHHt/s640/blogger-image-914013971.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgEwFkPe034lJjrLWbx_lGEudwxfOSgEKJPNtFMBgpcnTHhWHxzNP6-0LCS2wSJxl_sHcHsxwS_uFu50ZaSN0F1RPEIQ9-RXJ2xcILIgW5AeuwXfAC0RSD8ftU9x1LXflOdlLfBJomvHHt/s640/blogger-image-914013971.jpg"></font></a> Hebrews 6:19<br>
<b><i>We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure...</i></b><br>
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When I was pregnant with my daughter, 28 years ago, there was a moment in time when no one thought that she would survive. Doctors shook their head sadly as they relayed the heartbreaking news that I would probably lose this baby. One doctor tried unsuccessfully to make an appointment for an abortion.<br>
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As I sat there in the silent hospital room with only the breeze from a nearby vent blowing on my face I looked out of the window at the snow covered mountains in Vancouver. Suddenly in the midst of this heart crushing news I got a picture. It was as clear as if someone showed me a photograph, I saw a picture of me standing in front of my church with my husband, my son and my little baby - the baby I carried inside of me. I shook my head. I felt like I was going crazy that right then at that time when I needed all my wits about me, my mind was failing. <br>
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It felt like a mockery. My heart was trying to prepare for loss, when all my mind could see was this picture.<br>
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This was hope trying to poke its way through the stony bits of my heart. In the very beginning of my pregnancy it was just a tiny flicker, that flickered on and off, in the black silent night. At first I couldn't tell if it was a mockery of all that I was going through or a flicker of hope from God.<br>
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As time wore on in my pregnancy this hope grew with a raging force, beating within my chest. I clung to it - I clung to that picture in my head with a grip that wouldn't let go. I held it like a teddy bear that I never wanted to lay down. I needed it when the tears of fear fell softly down my cheeks in the darkest of days.<br>
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At the end of my pregnancy, I held a tiny baby girl in front of the church that was praying for me and I shared with them my story - the story of hope. <br>
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You see hope isn't wispy or weak. It isn't scared or shy. It is strong. It is powerful and it fills our life with that unwavering strength; that trust in a God who loves us deeply in spite of the circumstances we may be going through, a God who can do anything. A God who wants to see us dream and then meet those dreams.<br>
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Hope is about promises.<br>
Hope is about trust.<br>
Hope is unwrapping his gift of faith. <br>
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He is a God of hope. Our hope is safe within his name softly spoken in our spirits. . Let the fire of his hope burn up all your pain and hopelessness. What does your heart need today? What fears do you face? What circumstances are overtaking you??<br>
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As you close your eyes and really look deep inside your soul to where Jesus makes his home - he will show you a picture. Don't wave it away. Don't shake your head like I did. Instead take the picture, and treasure it. Hold it close to your chest and remember what it looks like when your life seems far from what He is showing you today. Remember how you felt when he gave it to you. Remember the quiet assurance that came softly to lay at your feet; the sweet calm over the chaos. Remember and don't let go.<br>
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"We have this hope..."<br>
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<br><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-44083582369815384522016-08-29T09:33:00.001-07:002016-08-29T09:33:23.926-07:00Home<br />
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It was a horrible dream. I had flown somewhere. I was somewhere unknown and unfamiliar to me and we landed in a devastating storm. I remember peering out the windows of the airplane and I gasped sharply as I saw the airplane was submerged under the water and we would have to swim to shore. What's more, I wasn’t a strong swimmer.<br />
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As I studied the murky, ugly waters, I gasped again - this time in sheer horror, my breath caught in my throat almost cutting off the circulation from the rest of my body. To my utter disbelief, I saw crocodiles and poisonous snakes meandering and surrounding our plane - some of them looked ominously agitated and hungry. <br />
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I tried to scream - tell everyone to stay on the plane but no words would come out. As the people calmly began exiting the plane and casually swimming to a building, I had no choice but to fight the wildlife that was finding it’s way into the plane, struggling to swim to safety and hope that my prayers would be answered this time.<br />
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As luck and dreams would have it, I made it to my destination unscathed physically. But I experienced severe trauma to my emotions.<br />
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I walked up to a few people I knew in my dream - they seemed to be close to me. I began to share my trauma, my story with them. One by one no one listened. They were all paying attention to something or someone else. One such man even “shushed” me as I was talking to him.<br />
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I was utterly and devastatingly alone.<br />
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I walked away, my lip quivering and found a tiny cardboard box. Folding my body up into a tiny ball, I lay in this box and I bawled and bawled and bawled. I wanted to tell people my story. I wanted to tell them how happy I was to be alive but how terrified I was to be swimming with the crocodiles and the snakes, and how I thought I wouldn’t come out alive, and no one was there to help me. I was all alone. I wanted to tell them how heartbroken I was that I would never be able to go back home - that I was stuck in this lonely place. And I so desperately missed home already.<br />
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I woke up in a fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably. I felt beside me for my husband and then remembered that he was in Taiwan. Even though I realized that the dream wasn't real, I couldn’t control my sobbing. I had been so desperate in my dream. I realized that the dream mirrored the story that seemed to be unfolding in my own real life. <br />
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And I sobbed, “When does it get better God? When does it not hurt so much - losing my father<br />
in law? Losing my church, close friends, family relationships, - all of it. When does it get better?”<br />
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I felt the Lord very clearly speak to me in that tiny room in my house with the darkness all around me and my heart broken in two. He said, “It doesn't get better. It doesn’t. But it gets different. And the different begins to feel okay and then it begins to feel like home again.”<br />
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You see it doesn’t get better. Not a better version of this. Losing my church will never get better. Losing my father in law will never feel better. All of the loss and the change and the hurt - it doesn’t get better. <br />
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But it’s like buying a house. Even if you like the house that you bought, you rarely feel like it’s your home the minute you pay your down payment and step across the threshold. It feels strange; like you are staying in someone else's home.<br />
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Like you are an imposter.<br />
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It doesn’t feel like home until you begin to put up your familiar pictures, until you start to wake up in your bed everyday and look out at the view that you fell in love with. And then one day you scrub your black tile countertop for the thousandth time and run your finger across that one spot that doesn’t seem to get as clean as the rest and you smile. You realize that you are home. You are comfortable. You are happy. You made it through. <br />
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You can pass by your old place and all the lovely, fun and deeply moving memories come back to flood your heart and they will never go away. They will always be there tucked in the folds of your heart to recall when you want to recall that old beautiful life. But now you have a new life. <br />
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God reminded me of a time a few years ago when he told me that he was reinventing me. This is all part of that reinvention and right now, I am not home. Right now, it hurts. But one day, after I peel away the extra stuff that doesn’t belong there, one day I will look around me and say that it is good indeed.<br />
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I will say, I am home.<br />
<br />Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-9726770162796277302016-06-22T06:48:00.000-07:002016-06-22T06:50:29.422-07:00I Wear Jewelry Everyday<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibE6I-bzuxo4-eXB-3aqoEiiEUqoKHey0tdBSOyh4ZcgAbsUMPH4_PQC8ocDE36wv7_XAUE15eO-T2MscjRfP0Q-G8BtT0rNsumcwk5mLPcj8Kv7hNBGgi7wBg2gCmBovIGTkQ0lZI4_qa/s1600/hands-63743_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibE6I-bzuxo4-eXB-3aqoEiiEUqoKHey0tdBSOyh4ZcgAbsUMPH4_PQC8ocDE36wv7_XAUE15eO-T2MscjRfP0Q-G8BtT0rNsumcwk5mLPcj8Kv7hNBGgi7wBg2gCmBovIGTkQ0lZI4_qa/s640/hands-63743_1280.jpg" width="426" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"> Her name was Lorna. She was full of vitality and lived life with abandonment. She was beautiful, grace-filled and loved her family relentlessly. Bold,</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"> fierce,</span> passionate, soft and incredibly humble. Lorna was teeny tiny in stature but a grande giant in character.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I visited her almost everyday and we laughed about crazy things and cried about sad things. She would send her kids down to the corner store to buy something - anything that would taste good in muffins- then she transformed all those random ingredients into the most yummy muffins right before my eyes. She got that wooden cutting board out and cut thick slices of cheese and we sat at the table and shared our dreams and our secrets and our hearts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then one day it all changed. I woke myself up in the middle of the night crying. My body was shaking like a leaf and I was sweating. I dreamed that I was sitting beside her bed in the hospital and she looked at me with those piercing, loving, demanding eyes. She was dying and there was nothing that I could do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Two weeks later, she invited me to her house and told me that she had been told that she had breast cancer. It wasn't very hopeful. But she was hopeful. Suddenly I remembered the dream and my stomach got instantly sick. I stared straight into those beautiful eyes of hers and said that I would pray until she got better. That she might get sick but she wasn't going to die on my watch. She was going to live and see her children get married and hold her grandchildren.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I hated the dream that haunted me. In fact, I don't think I have told anyone except for my husband. I screamed at Satan to let her go. I screamed at God for allowing her to go through this and allowing me to even dream a dream that was so evil and I screamed at life for being so very cruel. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">She got sicker. She put up such a valiant fight and went to church every time her body would let her walk and breathe and sometimes even when it didn't. She went out with her friends until getting to her front door was too difficult. Then I would visit her when she was very ill. We held hands and prayed. We prayed for her but only for a short time because she just really wanted to use the limited breath she had to pray for her kids. We prayed for our daughters because they were best friends. We prayed that they would always understand the Father's love, that they would always passionately serve the One who made them; that they would always know their purpose in life and walk in that purpose. We prayed that they could <i>always see their worth</i> and that they would grow up to have beautiful families. Even at the end of her life her grasp was always strong. Her hands were like a thin layer of skin separating me from her bones and at first glance I was worried that I would break her. Then she would take my hand in hers and the grasp would take my breath away. She loved nothing more than her family and her God and the passion was displayed in the strength of her grasp.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then one day she told me something I will never forget. Lorna told me many things that I will never forget but this one thing stuck with me; almost haunted me. She told me that no one would talk to her about death. She couldn't talk about death. She couldn't talk about her fears; about her unknowns about what would happen to her kids; her family. She had to go through death alone because all of her friends wanted to hold onto the fact that she would live - that God would heal her. It broke my heart. <i>God loves healing</i>. <i>God loves freedom</i>. But for whatever reason there are times that he doesn't grant it no matter how hard you war, no matter how hard you claim the scripture and you believe that he can move mountains. He just does not move this mountain. <i>Sometimes we need to walk with our friends and our family no matter what they are going through in honesty and simply say, "I don't know but I am here for you."</i> She told me that day through her gasps and coughing fits, "I know what Jesus' book says. But the doctor's book is very convincing right now."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Soon after that she was transported to the hospice. One day I walked in there and walked to her bed side and held her tiny hand in mine. I pleaded one more time that God would free her of this vile nasty disease of cancer. I cried and my body shook and I felt all sorts of emotion that I couldn't contain in my body. Then I bent down and kissed her forehead goodbye. She looked up at me and said something. I think she was trying to say "I love you." I am not sure. The next day she died peacefully in her sleep.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">While she was alive she taught me so much. She taught me how to pray, how to clean my house, how to entertain and use those beautiful napkins so that company felt wanted and loved. She taught me how to hug those big massive bear hugs that say, "I think the world of you." She taught me about friendship and honesty even when it hurt. She taught me how to earnestly and creatively love and how to fiercely stand up for my kids and to protect them. I learned so much from hanging out with her. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But in her death she taught me something else. She taught me to love everyday. </span><span style="font-size: large;">I remember one time when
she was helping me go through boxes and I came across some lovely embroidered
napkins. I told her I was saving them.
She told me that life was too short to save anything. She gave me a
beautiful candle for my birthday that year that had little treasures in
it as the candle burned down. It was such a cool gift and when I opened
it, she made me promise that I wouldn't save it. That I would deem a
day very close to that day special enough to burn a candle just for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">One day, shortly after she died, I stood at my jewelry and I looked at my beautiful pieces of jewelry that I only wore on special occasions. Some were tucked away and I had never worn them. I remembered Lorna saying, "why don't you wear those everyday?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />I looked at the exquisite jewelry, I picked up one of my chains and held it up to my neck. I had never worn it on an ordinary day. It was a special piece. But I decided that day that even ordinary days were extraordinary. <i>I was alive</i>. <i>I was breathing</i>. <i><b>Today</b></i> warranted jewelry. <i><b>Today</b></i> deserved my stamp of approval.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I wear jewelry everyday. I wear jewelry on my day off and sometimes even in my jammies when I have not gone to bed yet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <i><b>Every. Day. </b></i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Because everyday is a special occasion.</span></div>
Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-68854799040134245792016-06-13T06:48:00.000-07:002016-06-13T06:48:21.572-07:00It's Okay if it's Not Okay<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8_bjFPEa8_9XGRLTc6NTZet6HYSw0aOYnlyQ-5yAwhe4fKSJStFxeVJKPuBel7CD44LS_QMiDlp15Q3oyOBAtq3nwte7D0z3FYW_4QoZ1B6BP9y2ZuA4oENA2Z43lRsaTyjfXyGM1Uzac/s1600/disc-445271_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8_bjFPEa8_9XGRLTc6NTZet6HYSw0aOYnlyQ-5yAwhe4fKSJStFxeVJKPuBel7CD44LS_QMiDlp15Q3oyOBAtq3nwte7D0z3FYW_4QoZ1B6BP9y2ZuA4oENA2Z43lRsaTyjfXyGM1Uzac/s640/disc-445271_1280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I believe in living a life of gratitude. I absolutely know that it’s important to look around you and to be thankful for the things that you have.<br />
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But this is what I am learning these days in my life. I am learning that it’s important <i><b>not to ignore</b></i> the dark places, in place of the words “I should be thankful for...” It’s important not to stuff the pain in the pockets of my soul because I have a beautiful family, a beautiful life and a job I love. It’s important to be able to stand, look around and say, “I really don’t like this. My heart is breaking. I am depressed. I am angry. I am so so sad. I don’t like what I am seeing or feeling.” So many times we deny ourselves the negative emotions, the emotions that are hard to face because we SHOULD be feeling much better about the world around us. We decide to “tough it out” and “man up” when we look at parts of the world that don’t have roofs over their heads or fresh water to drink or proper food to eat. We are rich, we have life easy and we are spoiled in many ways where we live. Yet still there are seasons in our lives where everything in our own tiny world is not okay. There are seasons in our lives where our hearts are aching with loneliness or heaviness. I am here to say that it’s okay to recognize that. In fact, it’s harmful for your body to ignore the pain like an enemy or throw it out the window like a piece of garbage to be disposed of later. Pain has a way of haunting you and if you won’t accept it in your emotions, it tries to come back to you in your physical body.<br />
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Why do you think that Jesus saves your every tear in a bottle? He cares passionately about your pain. He doesn’t flush it down the toilet and tell you not to bother about it. He doesn’t tell you to move on; pull up your bootstraps. He cares and your pain deeply matters to him. <br />
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Long before I had meningitis, I was leaking brain fluid through my nose and the doctors didn't detect it. It was so bad, I couldn’t do anything with two hands. One hand did the work I needed to do while the other plugged my nose with a tissue. I had to do everything with one hand - loading the dishwasher, setting the table, making the bed. When I put my shoes on, it was crazy...<br />
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I remember crying out to God and my husband many times in desperation because I felt truly handicapped for almost a year. But I had no pain. None - my nose just ran. And I was exhausted. Truly more exhausted than I had been in all my life. But because I felt no pain, I felt so so so guilty for complaining; so guilty for being frustrated at my plight. I kept reminding myself of all the good I had in my life. I kept reminding myself of those that don’t have a quarter of what I have. And instead of feeling full of gratitude, I felt a <i><b>smidgen</b></i> of gratitude and <i><b>FULL</b></i> of guilt. This isn’t the purpose of the gratitude lifestyle and it isn’t what God wants. <br />
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You are not weak if you are in pain. You are human. You aren’t ungrateful if you are lonely. You are human. You aren’t whiny if you are depressed. You are human. <i><b>Let your self be human.</b></i> <br />
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Recognize the season that you are in. When we have the physical season of winter, we recognize it. We have our coats and our mittens and our shovels for the snow. In the same way, we need to recognize our pain. We need to live through the season instead of ignoring it. We need to be prepared for it; armed for it even. <br />
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What does this mean for us - for you and I? How do we recognize how we are feeling? Does this mean that we get onto facebook and tell the world about every little pain and obstacle in our way?. Does it mean we complain every day about every little thing and throw ourselves a pity party?<br />
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Absolutely not. The Bible teaches about being in an attitude of thankfulness and gratitude. It also teaches us to be truly honest with where we are at in healthy ways.<br />
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There are three things that you need to make a part of your life as you navigate through your life's winter.<br />
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1. <i><b> Admit your weakness and your pain to yourself. </b></i><br />
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First of all it means that we admit it to ourselves. We admit it and we give ourselves permission to hurt. Give ourselves permission for a season of pain. Give ourselves permission to not always be helping the other guy; not always be the strong one. I have learned the hard way that we are not designed to always be the strong one; always the reliable one; always the one helping others. We need to jealously guard our own hearts and be completely honest with ourselves when we need extra self care. This is so important.<br />
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2. <i><b>We admit it to God.</b></i><br />
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He knows it all anyways but somehow it just helps to talk or shout or cry. It helps to be brutally honest with Jesus even if we are mad at Him. Let's not pretend that we can hide our feelings or thoughts. Let's not try to be strong in front of God when we feel so weak. We aren't in the business of earning brownie points with God. He isn't interested in our competition of trying to be good enough, strong enough, hard working enough. He loves us no matter who we are. There is nothing more that we need to do to earn his love. Ever. Let's put that type of harmful thinking behind us and move forward in total and complete honesty.<br />
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3. <i><b>We admit it to one of our praying, non judgmental friends. </b></i><br />
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This is an important step. If you are normally a strong person, if you have been the one who has been depended upon, it is easy for us to hide behind a cloak of shame. We shouldn't feel weak; we shouldn't be in this difficult spot. One of the biggest ploys Satan has is for us to hide behind some kind of fake mask so that we don't have to admit our weakness. His greatest desire is for us to be isolated and ashamed. If he can isolate us; if he can fill us with trepidation, take our friends away; take our support systems away, he has been successful in building us a prison of shame. Don't buy into this.<br />
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If you don't have friends that you can confide in, find them. <i><b>Find them.</b></i> Life was never meant to go at alone. Jesus always believed in friendship, he always believed in people shoulder to shoulder, going forward into the destiny that God has for them. Find those friends that you can journey with. Find those friends that you can trust and that love you. Then invest in them. Carve out time for them. Make them a priority. <br />
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Lastly, this is what I want you to remember most of all. Close your eyes tightly and grasp onto this truth with the deepest part of your heart. <i><b>It won't be winter forever.</b></i> After the harsh winter is the breath of spring. One day you will feel the warmth of the sun dancing overhead and smell the sweetness of the flowers around you. One day you will feel the grass growing beneath your toes and hear the birds singing their love songs in the graceful trees nearby. <br />
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One day... <br />
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<br />Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-44291752989606164092016-05-26T06:29:00.000-07:002016-05-26T07:11:18.035-07:00What Does Colouring Look Like in Your Life?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVXdyDi76voeItW4A-qGAdKoTZCDEHkVL9SqWLLob5RQ8mem8a35CGYlKPFS4M5WgD8Ty91gmLGvxVN_7X_Vo3k7ilxs3D17fRkx5ld2cU8NmXnZJLz2va1fn4_1vKyERGzdbuc3RSekc5/s640/blogger-image-2125134470.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVXdyDi76voeItW4A-qGAdKoTZCDEHkVL9SqWLLob5RQ8mem8a35CGYlKPFS4M5WgD8Ty91gmLGvxVN_7X_Vo3k7ilxs3D17fRkx5ld2cU8NmXnZJLz2va1fn4_1vKyERGzdbuc3RSekc5/s640/blogger-image-2125134470.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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I have been intrigued by conversations that I have had as of late with friends who have bought <a href="https://www.createspace.com/6208411" target="_blank">my colouring book.</a> Many people are so excited and start colouring right away. Some have bought one or more books from me and tucked them away for a later date or for gifts. But still others, open my book, stare at the page and get instantly overwhelmed by all the decisions that they have to make in order to make this page beautiful. I am sure that colouring says a lot about our personalities. In the future, I will definitely research this but for now I have included a few tips to help you enjoy the whole experience of colouring.<br />
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1. <i><b> Let go of perfectionism.</b></i><br />
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What I want you to do is to grab a box marked with<b> P</b>. Open the box slowly, hold it carefully in your hands and stare at it for awhile. Then reach deep inside of your soul and grab your perfectionism. It's very slippery and quite devious so it might try to get away. Once you have grasped it, hang on tightly and then quickly place it in the box. In ONE swoop of a motion, slam the box shut. Then very carefully, place the box behind your back where you can't see it bouncing about trying to escape.<br />
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<i><b>Now</b></i> you can open your colouring book and begin colouring.<br />
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Seriously, though, the best way to enjoy colouring, is to let your perfectionism go. I know that's easier said than done. I realize that. It's like telling me to let the clutter behind the stairs in our classroom go (right co-workers?) and I just can't let that go; no matter how many times I try.<br />
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I know. You don't want to make a mistake. You don't want to mess up your colouring page. You don't want to make a decision and then decide that you didn't like the decision that you made after you put marker/pencil on it. I get it.<br />
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There are a couple of things to consider here. I have 39 layouts to colour in my book. If you do one you are not happy with, you have 38 more.<br />
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Some of my biggest mistakes have actually become my biggest accomplishments because as I fixed it, I liked it better than originally planned. So if you make a "mistake" decide what you could do to make it better. Think outside of your perfectionist box. Remember, you placed that box behind your back, right.?<br />
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To be honest, I struggle with indecision and perfectionism as well. Often, I will hold up a page to my husband and say, "Will those lines look better with blue or pink." He looks up from his ipad with eyes glazed over and a 'I simply don't care' look on his face. Then he says with all the mustered up sweetness he can find, "Do what feels right, Faith." Hhhhmmm. Not helpful. Then I do <i>just</i> that. I do what feels right. That's it.<br />
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The point is, we all suffer from perfectionism at one level or another. However with this, as in <b>all of life</b>, we just have to move PAST it in order to colour our pages and enjoy the experience. Perfectionism is the fastest way to kill your adventure, your creativity and your dreams. Don't let this happen to you. <br />
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2. <i><b>Relax</b></i>.<br />
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The idea of colouring is supposed to be relaxing. Do you remember when you were a little child and you were at a table, head bent down feverishly colouring your elephant? When you looked up, your head was spinny, you were concentrating so hard. But as you stare at your rainbow coloured elephant with polka dotted ears, you heart swells up with pride because you have created this masterpiece. This is yours. We need to grab that little child inside of us that loves what we do; that makes provision for art and relaxation.<br />
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Put some soft music on after the kids go to bed or after a hard day at work. Put a candle on the table on the other side of the room, and some healthy dark chocolate on the table beside you and <i><b>allow</b></i> yourself to relax.<br />
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When my father in law was very sick a few years ago, we didn't have a chance to go on vacation that summer. So my son and I created mini vacations. We got canvasses and splashed colour on them when we had a spare minute. Many times, we would come home from a visit and Sean would exclaim, "Do we have time for a mini vacation?" I carved time out of my very busy, very emotional days to make this a priority. It was important to me that I didn't let the summer go by without any escapes and it ended up being a point of healing for both of us. At the end of the summer, we had three beautiful paintings that we will cherish forever. Sometimes we need to create small pockets of time in order to have a mini vacation.<br />
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What can you do to create a relaxing space? Often I like to either colour or create colouring pages in front of the TV. Some people would hate that. Sometimes, I like to know that I am doing something other than watching TV - it feels more productive and then it's more fulfilling to me<br />
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The other thing that helps me to relax is to have a clean and tidy room in which to colour. When my room is in disarray, it's difficult for me to relax. So often, I will take 5 or 10 minutes just to tidy and then I can sit down and indulge. For you, that might not be the case at all. But figure out how to best create that relaxing atmosphere so that you can get the most out of this exercise.<br />
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3. <i><b>Have FUN</b></i>!!!<br />
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In my little school, that I work at we have chapel every Tuesday. At the beginning of the time we have together, they always go through all four rules carefully. The last rule is "Have fun!" The children know it and the teacher always says, "Have.....?" and then the children scream, "FUN!" Then they repeat it, Each time the children get louder and louder until the last time it's an earsplitting, head pounding scream that swallows you up in its moment. I always think that I would like to have head phones just for that three minutes of time.<br />
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This is what you need to know. There are a million ways to colour EACH page. There are million ways to use this book. No one is telling you to do it in the conventional way. Maybe you need to add lace to the girl page, or ribbon to the angel page. Or maybe you would like to tear around the edges and make a cool border. Or add blush to the girls face or pen marks to any of my doodles. Add birds to my branch or stick beautiful 3D butterfly stickers to one of the pages. When I first started doodling, I didn't add any colour at all. I love the stark contrast between the black and white and it's lovely without colour.<br />
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Do you use markers or pencil crayons? I use both on the same page! Am I supposed to do that? I really don't know as I have never googled the proper way to colour doodles. Is that a wrong thing - sort of like wearing black and navy together (I do this too. gasp.) But it works for me. Sometimes I love the look of a soft pencil crayon in the background and the bold marker in the little spots. <br />
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I use Sharpie markers and Staedtler triplus fineliner markers and my pencil crayons are Laurentian or Artists Loft. Really experiment with what makes you comfortable and what you like. <br />
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I have also used a marker set that I got for $3 at the dollar store. They worked just fine but I was happy that I practiced on another sheet because they bled a little so I couldn't do fine spaces with them. I could however do a tiny bit bigger spaces and get exactly the desired colour.<br />
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I do have some friends that do this. They have bought two from me. One to not touch and the other to colour. It helps them to relax and let loose and give themselves permission to make a mistake or wreck the page. Am I trying to sell more of my books? Absolutely. You bet I am. But it's true too. Even I have two in my coffee table- one I am colouring and one I am not going to touch.<br />
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Now, pick up your delicious colours, and colour a page!<br />
<br />Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-86296328677650611752016-04-26T06:45:00.000-07:002016-04-26T06:45:24.767-07:00Begin Again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The weird thing about publishing my first book (<a href="https://www.createspace.com/6208411" target="_blank">You can buy it here</a>.) and shutting down my church in the same week, is that it feels like the doctor gave me an arm I have been waiting my <b>entire</b> life for but in the same breath told me that he had to cut off my leg. It's a crazy mixed up way of living and feeling. I feel that I am in the midst of sorting my feelings into little boxes so that they don't spill out into my everyday world in a big jumbled mess.<br />
<br />
<i>Shock.</i><br />
<i>Disbelief.</i><br />
<i>Elation.</i><br />
<i>Joy.</i><br />
<i>Devastation. </i><br />
<i>Gratification.</i><br />
<i>Wonder.</i><br />
<i> </i> <br />
<br />
All of those emotions course through my body, and yet it still feels surreal to me. But Sunday as I sat in a completely different service in the first steps of "church shopping" the reality felt like a brick building tumbling down on top of me. It seemed so crazy final. I won't ever go to Mosaic again. Sadder still, there is no Mosaic in Lethbridge. It was a season in our lives that is now gone forever. And I wasn't really ready to see that season go. I wasn't ready for Mosaic to simply be a memory.<br />
<br />
It is like reading a book and you get to the end of the book and you are angry that you have to close the book. You aren't ready to begin to read the next adventure because you became friends with the people in this book. You belonged. You understood their adventures, their heartache, their victories. You related and became so intricately carved into their future and their lives. And it just doesn't seem fair to close the book and place it back on the shelf with all the others. <br />
<br />
The thing of it is, I have had lots of people write me or ask me point blank, “Why did you <i><b>really</b></i> close the Church down.” I think that people are looking for a big juicy story. Whether they
like it or not - they want to know the dirt. They want to be involved
in a story that is far more dramatic than it really is.<br />
<br />
And
then there are others (many more others) who are concerned about our
health; or concerned that we have walked away from God. Or just
concerned - period. <br />
<br />
And I am afraid that the true answer is a lot more boring than people would like to admit.<br />
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Our health is great. Our hearts are great. Our relationships with each other and the ones that were in our beloved Mosaic are great. <br />
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Here is the real reason. We got tired. But more importantly, our team got tired. They worked, and pushed and pulled and prodded and walked and ran and loved and worked some more - every Sunday and every week. One day, we looked around and we realized that our team as loyal as they were, were beginning to see burn out. And so were we!<br />
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We had people come to our Church, filled up, healed and go on their way. We had broken people join our church for a season and then God would call them elsewhere to serve as whole people in their calling. We saw miracles and we saw beautiful things.<br />
<br />
My husband preached a powerful message on our last day that I think thousands should listen to. <i><b>Honestly</b></i>. He writes about it <i><a href="http://www.jeremyhazell.com/" target="_blank">here</a> </i>. He preached about everything having a season. When that season is over then it’s time to let go. Or the beautiful becomes ugly. We wanted to let go while it was still beautiful. We wanted to let go before burn out reached our hearts and our spirits. We wanted to be smart about closing a season, a chapter down.<br />
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<b>Am I disappointed?</b> Absolutely.<br />
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<b>Am I angry at any of those who left the church in the last 10 years?</b> Not even remotely. All of us have a journey. All of us at the end of the journey, have to stand before God and answer to Him for the journey that he set before us. We are all following it the best of our ability. <br />
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<b>Am I angry at God?</b> Not right now, but I may be in the future. <i><b> If I am to be honest</b></i>. I know that he had the power. I know that he had the means to bring hundreds of people and in the law of sowing and reaping, we should have a thriving church by now. We have done everything right. We are good pastors and we have worked <b>really really really</b> hard. And so has our team and our family. But you know what?! It’s really okay if I get angry with God because he is a "big Boy" and He can handle it. I promise you. He has broad shoulders and Paul in the Bible got super angry with him. Job got angry with him. In fact, there were many that got angry with God. He either responded in love and compassion, or he put them in their place. Either is okay with me as long as I can be brutally honest with the One who I have the closest relationship with. <br />
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At the end of the day, I love him. At the end of the day, I will never walk away from him. I know he has a plan and purpose and that plan is not to harm me or hurt me. I have been through too much, seen too much, felt too much and forged that relationship deep and wide with Jesus - I can't run away from the very One who can help me the most. <br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Am I heart broken?</b> I really am. We had a vision. We had plans and a strong purpose for this church. It feels like death. It's a death of a dream. In a short wisp, it's gone. It's hard to pick up the pieces from that.<br />
<br />
But this is what I know. I have been heartbroken before. I have been at a loss, totally not understanding the season that I was facing - and I made it. I am still standing. I am still smiling even. Because I KNOW. I KNOW. I won’t feel this heartbreak forever. I won’t feel this confusion forever. I won’t feel this emptiness forever. Tomorrow is another day. There will be another season. There will be another chapter.<br />
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This is what <b><i>else</i></b> I know. It doesn't matter where I am at, He will find me. He will find me as the waters rush over my head and I feel myself drowning in a sea of doubt and cynicism. He will find me in the mud when I have stumbled and I am too weak to lift my weary body onto my feet. He will find me and when he does he will gently lift my bare soul and bring it to His place of healing and warmth. <br />
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<i><b>He will find you too. </b></i><br />
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<br />Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-64970675587794352602016-04-17T19:33:00.000-07:002016-05-06T15:36:34.339-07:00Faith Untangled is Ready to Order!!<img alt="" src="http://througheyesoffaith.com/images/frontCoverWeb.png" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /><br />
I am so excited that my book, <i><b> Faith Untangled</b></i>, is finally ready to order!<br />
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<i><b>Faith Untangled</b></i> is a beautiful line art colouring book, with heartfelt inspirational readings throughout. I have also included some instructions in the back of the book along with some practice pages. Also included are book marks and cards for you to colour and enjoy. This book of full of fun!!! <br />
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<i><b>Tumaini Children's Home</b></i> is a place in Africa that needs our help. Their home is growing and last year they received a mandate from the government to get a bigger house. With a title deed in their hand for beautiful property in Kenya, they are now looking at the arduous task of building a house to suit their family of 33 children and growing.<br />
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That's where we come in!! 75% of the proceeds of this book will go right into their hands to begin building this house.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkrkW0h2iSWYMPKne4aZgSpXqbqaGMN47sTmgc6AMOhELGrb0DnDLqWdRViQBGIz2ImsqUm0OHXLg7Ga7s8FXrCuhncsMgzKzIYQ3UJ5GWAwwOMcPB10yjMU13rkB4emmGVN0elI2j3S9Z/s1600/12909446_822397621198346_3437408201437846387_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkrkW0h2iSWYMPKne4aZgSpXqbqaGMN47sTmgc6AMOhELGrb0DnDLqWdRViQBGIz2ImsqUm0OHXLg7Ga7s8FXrCuhncsMgzKzIYQ3UJ5GWAwwOMcPB10yjMU13rkB4emmGVN0elI2j3S9Z/s320/12909446_822397621198346_3437408201437846387_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Phyllis and Horace have a passion to see children educated, fed and loved within a family. Will you join with me in linking arms and hearts to help a lovely family in Africa? <br />
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Please share this post with everyone you know. Please share it on your walls. Please share it with your pastors, your friends, your family. Together we could do something HUGE!!<br />
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How to Order</h2>
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The book costs $17.00 US. Prices in other currencies are calculated automatically. <br />
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You can order single copies from my createspace store by <b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.createspace.com/6208411" target="_blank">Clicking Here</a></span></b>.<br />
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If you wish to order <b>10 or more copies</b>, please send me an <a href="mailto:Faithhazell@hotmail.com" target="_blank">email here</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.paypalobjects.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="1" /><br />
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<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post" target="_top">
</form>
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Thank you for your support!! Isn't it wonderful that we can make a <i><b>DIFFERENCE</b></i>?! <br />
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<br />Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-35969450414718689182016-04-04T07:37:00.001-07:002016-04-04T07:37:55.270-07:00We had hoped<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"> They were devastated. The men walked in silence as they made their way to Emmaus. Their hearts were breaking and they knew that their lives would never again be the same. Jesus had just been brutally crucified.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">One of them broke the silence. He turned to his friend and voiced what had hovered in their thoughts for
three days. "We thought he was the one. " How crushed they felt as
they shared their hearts. Everything - their life, their hopes, their dreams, their goals - hung on this one man. He had let them down. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">They were followers of Jesus. They were passionate about and for Him. They watched him with pride as they knew that he would be the one who would save the Israelites from the cruel government that now ruled the land. It was prophesied in the Old Testament about this man who would rescue them. They KNEW, KNEW KNEW that this man - this carpenter from Nazareth was the answer to their hearts cry. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Then one day, it happened. They watched in breathlessness while Jesus - a mass of blood and flesh bowed his head and said, " Father forgive them." In shock and utter disbelief they stared at each other. He was supposed to save himself so that he could save others! He had walked around for three years, doing miracles showing signs and wonders through his mere words or gentle touch. He had saved himself before. Why not now? Why didn't he call fire from heaven? Why didn't he perform an amazing miracle of coming down off that cross victoriously showing the world that NOTHING could stop him - that he was invincible? He could have done that. He had the power in his grasp. Why then did he choose to die?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"> It felt as if they had been rejected and abandoned along with their nation. They had been left. And now there was no hope of freedom. There was no hope away from the government that oppressed them. Not only did they feel the rejection, the questions, they were lost in a deep and inconsolable grief and pain. They had lost a friend. No doubt they had followed Jesus everywhere knowing that He was the One. No doubt they had formed a strong love for this carpenter. Jesus had become their life; part of their routine and certainly held their dreams in the palm of His Hands. Until he let their dreams fall - shattered at their feet. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">What a crazy mix of emotions were raging in their hearts. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">As I was pondering this scene a few days I ago, I started to cry. I thought of all the things in my life or even in the last 5 or 6 years that I had hoped. I had hoped the Church would be thriving by now. I had hoped that my father in law would have been raised from his bed of sickness. I had hoped that my health would not have been so rocky and scary in the last years. I had hoped that our financial situation would be so much better. I wasn't going to be HERE in this place in my life at 52. It was supposed to be different. If I served and loved God and did all the right things, it was supposed to be so much different than it is. The list goes on and on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: small;"> I am sure it does for you too. I let myself feel the grief of those things that have turned out so differently than I had hoped and expected. I let the tears wash my soul with God's comfort. I let myself feel the pain as so often people push the tears down.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Then I remembered something. The story doesn't stop there.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">A third man approached them. He wondered what they were upset at. They looked at him and their jaw dropped. Everyone knew what happened in Jerusalem three days ago. Where had he been? Everyone knew - the air was filled with a somberness that could be cut with a knife. It was the talk of the town. There was sorrow that literally hung in the air. Who was this man? As they talked, they began to pour out their hearts to this stranger. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">"We had hoped that this was the man who would rescue us - would overthrow the kingdom. We had hoped that this was the man who would be the answer to our questions. But he is dead. The dream is dead. The hope is lost - gone."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">As we all know the third man was Jesus himself who had already risen from the dead. Why didn't they recognize him? I know that his body had changed. But why didn't they recognize him - somehow, someway? Were they in so much turmoil, were they in so much pain that they did not recognize Jesus walking with them right then?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">When they invited him back to their place for the evening and he broke bread with them, that is when their eyes were opened and they knew. Suddenly it clicked!! That's why they had goose bumps when he was talking about the scriptures of the Bible. That's why their heart leapt within them as he spoke!! He was Jesus!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">How much joy they experienced that day when they ran back to the disciples telling them all about the encounter with Jesus.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Here's an interesting thought though. Jesus still did not overthrow the government the way that all the Jews thought he would; the way that everyone had interpreted the prophecies. He didn't rescue them like they thought he would. They still lived under the Roman government for hundreds of years.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"> But he did something better!!! So so so much better!! He gave them eternal life. He gave them a reason to get up in the morning. He gave them access to God Himself - not through our sacrifice, not the through the law, not through all the hard stuff they had to experience before. He gave them access simply by their own voice - their own heart.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">We have all lived our "we had hoped." We have all been there. This life we live sometimes is filled with difficult and painful roads. We are all learning that life does not always turn out as we had hoped and sometimes our dreams simply lay smashed at our feet.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Are you not where you thought life would take you? Are you living some "We had hoped" moments? Does your life not look like you thought it would at this time? Your marriage, your children, your Church, your life?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I don't know what the answer is to your questions. I don't know what the answer is to my questions. But this is what I do know. When the two men were so depleted, when they had so much pain they didn't know where to turn or what to do - Jesus was there all along. He was walking their journey with them. So I know that even if I don't feel him, see him or hear him, I need only to open my eyes and look around. I know that He is here.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">That's enough for me. </span><br />
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Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-54077314046343248962016-03-15T06:46:00.004-07:002016-03-15T06:46:51.972-07:00Its in the middles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Do you have a goal that's just burning so hot in your chest that you can hardly breathe? Do you need<br />
a breakthrough that will change your whole entire life? Do you see something that needs to be done, fulfilled, taken care of in your life and you are headed there but so far away still - in fact you don't really even know if you are headed in the right direction?!<br />
<br />
Joseph, in the Bible was like that too. He had a dream. He had a vision for his life; he needed breakthrough badly. Most of us know the story. He was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers after he told them of his dream that they would bow down to him. His father hadn't read any of the self help books about raising kids (although he should have known without reading anything in my opinion.) and Joseph was undeniably his favourite. This one choice by his father to make him more dear to his heart, gave his brothers burning coals of hate that they carried around in their heart until one day, they lost it. They sold him into slavery and went home and delivered a filthy, dirty lie to his father about his death - one they lived with for many years.<br />
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Meanwhile, Joseph was as good as dead. His cushy life as he knew it, was gone - absolutely gone. Unlike the beautiful robe of many colours, his life felt like ashes in an open fire. To say that he was in an awful place would be an understatement.<br />
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Some of us know the story well. He worked hard until he became in charge of all the servants - an honor that was not so easily attained. His life started looking up. Until one day...<br />
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His bosses wife tried to seduce him and he ran away - which was the smartest thing to do. Potiphar's wife was so upset and humiliated that he didn't take to her advances that again, a filthy lie was created about him that ended him in prison.<br />
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I wonder what Joseph was thinking when he was thrown into the dungeon - a lonely, disillusioned, broken man? A man who had tried to do everything right; a man who had followed his conscience and made all the right decisions. He had been dealt a very cruel card. <br />
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So what did he do with the remaining dregs of his life? I will tell you what he did. He lived it well. He knew that he needed a breakthrough. He knew that he needed to get out of prison - to be a free man entirely. In all honesty, he didn't really know if that would ever happen or at the very least, WHEN it would happen. Instead of sulking about it, instead of letting bitterness and anger seep into his pores, he lived every part of his life well. And this is exactly what made Joseph the man that he became.<br />
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He served the people in prison. He became the model prisoner. He was one they could count on - so much so that they gave him responsibility in a huge prison. <br />
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They were a few times that he saw breakthrough right there in his hands until something cruel or unexpected would knock it out of his eager hands and he was stuck in prison again with no hope of reprieve. <br />
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How long was he in slavery?????? It is believed that he was in his situation for about 17 years - from the time he was sold into slavery until the time he was freed from prison. Joseph is a man who knew himself but MORE importantly, his God. He was a man who dug his heels in and would not let go. He was a man who took every opportunity to be the BEST man that he could be. Everyday. Every step. Every crazy turn. He gave his days 120%.<br />
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You see, it's in the middles, it's in the process, that makes us who we are. It's never the mountaintop and very rarely the lowest of the low valley. It's in the middle, when we are putting one foot in front of the other, that we decide whether to serve life well or to just pine away for our moment - our breakthrough. Its in the middle that shapes our character; it molds our spirit in a way that deeply changes our core. It's in the middles where we decide to be happy even in the ordinary. It's in the middles where life is hard and messy and questionable where we gain perseverance and victory. We don't gain the victory when everything is going great - we gain it before our breakthrough - we just <b><i>walk into it</i></b> when we see the breakthrough. And it's in the middles that most of our life happens.<br />
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If we learn what Joseph did, it's in the ordinary moments that can be deemed extraordinary. Because oftentimes it's not our circumstances at all that determine our victory and if we are going to live life well. It is our heart.<br />
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<b><i>Always our heart</i></b>.<br />
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Joseph loved life - the very act of living and here is how you can tell. Everywhere he was put - even in the deepest of the pit, he found a way to live it well. <br />
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Maybe your life isn't where you want it at this very second. Maybe there are huge obstacles looming before you; standing in your way. How are you going to live life well <b>TODAY</b>? How are you going to live victoriously today? Today is as s<i><b>pecial</b></i> as the day you get the breakthrough.<br />
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Most of our lives are spent in the middles. What are we doing with the middle? What are we doing with the process? Are we letting "the stuff" get us down? Or are we just not in the moment because our lives are not there yet - our lives are "over there."<br />
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Wrap a big beautiful bow around TODAY because today is our precious PRESENT. </div>
Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-7111214047674086272016-03-02T05:57:00.002-08:002016-03-02T05:57:32.243-08:00Have you tried turning it off and on again?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjszb_yci7GjEyw-juMPF44gzlwo-ep2EN5RpiMmmXGQZYDgUnTo0sN1CzJi_L4Uh_q1psN5_qcVEsqQFdRguvc-7PLYPBCA7SW660DfVIDDYu7tO6bcOjUFNFsIJEZaFrKq2hJSusuVreG/s640/blogger-image-1553136054.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjszb_yci7GjEyw-juMPF44gzlwo-ep2EN5RpiMmmXGQZYDgUnTo0sN1CzJi_L4Uh_q1psN5_qcVEsqQFdRguvc-7PLYPBCA7SW660DfVIDDYu7tO6bcOjUFNFsIJEZaFrKq2hJSusuVreG/s640/blogger-image-1553136054.jpg" /></a></div>
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Have you ever heard of the computer tech guy saying, "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" to a frantic customer who calls in about a computer not acting right?? There is even a show on the television whose signature is this very question because it's about some guys who are set in an office that fixes computers. <br />
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Apparently, the body works very similar to that. Last week I had to have a procedure called a cardioversion. It is a procedure where an electrical current is sent to the heart to make it stop for only a second. Then they start it up again in hopes that it regains a correct rhythm - much like a computer. Because I am not actually a computer, but a HUMAN, I was terrified about it - imagining all kinds of scenarios. It does come with risks, but so does crossing the street every morning. I felt much better about it after talking to the doctor. He was able to calm my fears and put some perspective into the situation. <br />
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As one does when they are coming close to a day that they think might be significant I have done a lot of soul searching these last days. I wasn't sure what to expect. I have asked God to show me if there are things in my spiritual heart that does not resonate with the One who created me. I have searched my heart to make sure that it is soft and pure before God and people around me. It's interesting that many times a physical issue mirrors a spiritual issue. Jeremy and I have seen this many times.<br />
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David in the Bible said this: <i><span class="highl">Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts;</span> And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way. </i><br />
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I asked God to show me if there was anyone that my heart wasn't right with; anyone with whom I needed to make peace in my own spirit. You know. that's really one prayer that the Lord likes to answer. Gently he began to put his thumb on certain areas of my heart. Hurts I have gained while pastoring, pain I have adopted while growing up and even issues I have had with God Himself about decisions that he has made in my life.<br />
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<br />The thing about issues of the heart is that hurt is sometimes justified but it's never very helpful. In fact, hurt if left there to fester will only rob from you. It robs you of your joy and your peace while the person who wronged you has gone on with their life sometimes completely oblivious of your internal struggle. <br />
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I love what Jeremy has been saying as he has been preaching (ironically about the issues of the heart.) Sometimes the answer is so <i><b>simple</b></i> but it isn't always <i><b>easy</b></i>.<br />
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The answer to hurt and to pain towards someone in your life is to let it go. <i><b>Simply to let it go</b></i>. These last days as I had been preparing to get my physical heart reset, I have been resetting my spiritual heart. I was ready to let it all go. I was ready to take any hurt that I feel, wrap it up in a big giant grocery bag and hand it to the One who can handle the difficult issues of life; who can replace it with peace and joy.<br />
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You see there is something interesting about the heart. Most of the time, you don't notice it's beating. You don't even think about it as you are going about your daily business. That is, until there is something wrong. Then it becomes a big part of your life. It limits you. It worries you. You begin to make decisions around it. You begin to pull back just in case it starts acting up. You begin to put dreams on the shelf. It's the same way with the spiritual heart. You don't really notice it until something goes wrong. Then you feel the pain, the hurt, the debt, the jealousy, the pressure of wanting it to be the way it was. When you feel that pressure; that discomfort in your heart - there is something wrong and you have to deal with it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFsvFEFr4prYmi4C9Ves4IkmMCMRbCAWpo2w_w7kS3yxFEqAHNF-exSr4Bdn9TtAJDbt8IHzTiTR_huTWhcy0xweM_lRSxqSTbK3acKRF8tebKT-Q69b1BxKxxRpG5AeLlWlV-qwnLAADC/s640/blogger-image-1790848011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFsvFEFr4prYmi4C9Ves4IkmMCMRbCAWpo2w_w7kS3yxFEqAHNF-exSr4Bdn9TtAJDbt8IHzTiTR_huTWhcy0xweM_lRSxqSTbK3acKRF8tebKT-Q69b1BxKxxRpG5AeLlWlV-qwnLAADC/s400/blogger-image-1790848011.jpg" width="300" /></a>Today, I went downstairs and danced to lovely worship music as I
often do before I go to work.<br />
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This time something was <i><b>different</b></i>. This
time, my heart did not go into palpitations - something that has
happened everyday for a long time. When I was finished, I was so
touched. This morning, I felt free.<br />
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Both my physical heart and my
spiritual heart are in sync with the fresh steady beating of the Holy
Spirit - of the One who created my heart. <br />
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<br />Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-48654646482894381382016-01-04T06:20:00.000-08:002016-01-04T06:20:46.973-08:00ME<br />
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Every year, I decide on a new word that will depict the coming year for me. I think about it a lot. I pray about it and I take into account my own personal journey of life. Often, after I have decided on a certain word, all of these things come popping into my day, on my facebook newsfeed and in my readings and casual conversations that further confirm the validity of that one special word. This year was no different.</div>
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This year, my word is ME. It’s funny actually. The first time the word was dropped into my head, it took me aback. It felt like someone had dropped an armful of dishes in the other room - the sound was so foreign in my head. I can’t have THAT word for my <b>one special</b> word for 2016!! It seems so selfish and so self serving. The ironic thing about it is that I am far from<i> that type </i>of person. My life story is reaching out to others - offering hope to those around me. That’s what propels me - it’s what drives me and makes me happy. When I become inward I begin to feel isolated and depressed. </div>
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So this year, I need to focus on me? And I get a resounding YES!!</div>
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You see when you <b><i>love</i></b> yourself enough to practice self care; to gain a better understanding of yourself and your whole body, you are actually doing those you love the<b> highest</b> service. You are not being selfish at all. You are better able to reach out, to serve and to love those around you when you pay attention to your body's language - listen to its whispers and understand its needs. </div>
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I had a sobering conversation with my 10 year old son the other day. He was talking about when he would be 42 (the meaning of life and the universe according to Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy :)) and then suddenly, he looked up with tears in his eyes and exclaimed almost panicky, “Will you still be alive when I am 42 MOM!!” I said, “Well, I am pretty sure that I will be. Let’s figure out how old I will be.” So we promptly figured out that I would be 84. His tears starting making their way down his cheeks as he sadly said, “But Grandad was only 75.” I explained to him that Nanna was 77 and his grandma and grandpa (almost) were 80, so lots and lots of people live past 75. That seemed to satisfy him and then he said, “Will you try really hard to stay alive until then?” I assured him that I would.</div>
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It was a simple question. A humble question. But it was an <b><i>"aha"</i></b> moment for me. And it deserved honest speculation and an honest answer. You see there are things that I can redefine in my life in order to be healthier. There are steps that I can take in order to gain more control of <span style="color: red;">ME</span>. That was all the confirmation that I needed in order to make <span style="color: red;">ME</span> my word for 2016. </div>
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My one special word is intertwined with my goals this year. I wanted to share them with you.</div>
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<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">M</span><span style="font-size: large;">agical<span style="color: red;"> E</span>scape</span></div>
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All
of us need moments of rest. All of us need to pull back, put up our
feet and inhale peace. God took a rest on the seventh day of creation so why do WE
think we should do any less. These last few years have taught me that I
need to carve rest into my calendar. Being too busy; being too
rushed isn't healthy for your body or your mind no matter what you are
busy with. I have already started working on this and will continue to
do so in the coming year.</div>
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<span style="color: red;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">M</span>ultiply <span style="color: red;">E</span>xpression</span>:</div>
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I love art. I love creating things. There have been pockets of time that I have felt that I didn't have time; that I had to put it on the back burner.. I let the craziness of life steal my creative time. This year, I am going to intentionally invest time into my art. I am going to write, to paint, to take photographs -to do those things that I love. Because I am realizing that what feeds my soul, feeds others as well. What heals me, reaches out to those around me and extends the same healing. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="color: red;">M</span>anage <span style="color: red;">E</span>ating: </span></div>
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There is so much out there to be said for healthy eating that I don't really need to linger on this point in this blog post.</div>
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This is important for me. This is where the rubber meets the road - it is where I decide if I am really trying to live to be 84 or not. All of our food decisions add up. We have to remind ourselves that our decisions today mark some outcomes for our future. Our future is often bought with today's actions.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="color: red;">M</span>ove <span style="color: red;">E</span>veryday</span>:</div>
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I have a love/hate relationship with exercise. I hate taking the time to do it - mainly because the BEST time for me is in the morning when I would rather be sleeping. But even if I choose to do it at another time, there seems to be a million other things screaming at me, to get done. Good things. God things. Valid things. Many many times I cave in to those things, forgetting what movement does for my body. I can’t tell you what moving does in doctor’s terms necessarily but I can tell you what it does by self experience. </div>
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First of all movement, completely takes my energy to another level. I can always tell when I have been exercising regularly. I have much more energy than when I am not.</div>
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It also improves my mood 100%. It’s like a miracle drug - only much much better!!!! I can face harder things; I can look at things through better perspective; I can tackle more difficult life questions.</div>
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Lastly, when I stop exercising, I can tell because I start to get achy. My joints start to hurt more. Even if I stop for a few days it starts to get harder to go up and down the stairs or sit on the floor and play with the kids.</div>
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These benefits don't even mention the weight loss that naturally comes with it. So why if all these benefits come into play do I fight exercise so much?! When I know the answer to that, I will let you know. Better yet, if you know the answer to that, you can let ME know.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">M</span>indful <span style="color: red;">E</span>xcellence</span>:</div>
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This year, there are some things around the house that need doing. Some projects that need to be finished, places that need clearing out, things that need to be thrown out or given away and routines to get re- rooted. I find that when my house is clean and tidy and free of clutter, my mind is also. I can think clearer and create better. There are less things calling my name, beckoning me and taking me away from artful and beautiful projects. I can more easily be the ME that I want to be. </div>
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I have some things to work on this year. I have goals to attain. </div>
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I can honestly say that as I step into the newness of 2016, as the plot of the next year begins to slowly unfold, I can almost hear the drum beat of anticipation in my chest.</div>
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Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-43836707290378840082015-12-09T06:16:00.000-08:002015-12-09T06:16:45.218-08:00Peace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When I was a little girl, I suffered greatly from anxiety attacks. Debilitating fear was never very far away from me. Traveling in the car was my worst nightmare. I have no idea why. I think I dealt with claustrophobia as well. I would dread a trip in the car for days. I remember a time in my life when we traveled a lot. I believe we were touring the States a little bit while my father ministered in different churches. We had a station wagon and it was long before the seat belt laws of today. In fact, many a time, I rode in the back laying down. But in this season, there was no sleeping or even resting as I climbed back there. My body was overwhelmed by anxiety. I couldn't shake it.</div>
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But I remember one key. The <b>only</b> key. Burying my face in the floor of the car, clutching anything so that my hand wouldn't shake so violently, I would lay. As my body trembled and my hands shook, I whispered a Name over and over and over again. </div>
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<i><b>Jesus. </b></i></div>
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<i><b> Jesus</b></i></div>
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<i><b>Jesus. </b></i></div>
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That's when Jesus became more than a Word for me. That's when he became more than a Name for my heart. He personally became the person who would rescue me. He became that anchor for my soul and that rock for my sanity. And in those moments of terrifying anxiety, as I desperately repeated his name, I would begin to feel the soft, warm blanket of peace laying over me. Slowly, my body would tremble less. Gradually, my hand would begin to stop shaking and eventually it was just Jesus and I rolling down the highway in that station wagon. It was his Name that shattered the hold of panic. </div>
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Again, when I was in the hospital with meningitis, there was a moment that I was terrified. Looking onto facebook, trying to distract myself, I clicked on one of my memories of three years prior. I had posted a song called, "Steady My Heart." It spoke deeply to me. Sitting there, in that bed, I cried - like I had cried when I first heard it. There was a line that particularly struck me. It read, "I'm not going to worry. I know that you've got me right in the palm of your hand."</div>
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You see, things in my life had not changed. Circumstances were still crazy around me and shadows loomed ahead that I did not know. But in the midst of it, Jesus was there, poised, able, willing to take me through whatever the future held. And when I could get a hold of that reality, it broke the power of fear.</div>
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Whoever you are worried about, whatever you are worried about, whatever your financial situation, your health situation, he has you in the palm of his hand. It doesn't <i>always</i> mean everything will turn out as you planned. It doesn't <i>always</i> mean everything will be victorious or even successful in our eyes. That's not reality - it wasn't in the Bible and it's not in today's world either. What it means is that if we are in God's hand, if God sees us, if He understands, then we can make it through. We can do it. We are at peace. God's peace is simply more than perfect circumstances. It carries us to the other side of treacherous seasons of life. </div>
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Look up at Him. Reach up and grasp his big knarled, nail scarred hand and put one foot in front of the other until you reach the end of this part of the journey. It will be okay with Him by your side.</div>
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Jesus said in the Bible, "My peace I leave with you. Not as the world gives..." What kind of peace does Jesus give? He gives the kind of peace that doesn't make sense from a natural point of view. The world around you can be crumbling. The situation you are facing can be too large, too strong, and too overwhelming and Jesus reaches out to you - arms open wide - with the gift of peace.</div>
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So many times we try to find our peace elsewhere when we really need to cuddle up at Jesus' feet, stare hard into his adoring eyes and never look away.. That's all Jesus was talking about when he said he gives us peace "not as the world gives." </div>
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We try to find a new hobby. We go to the beach. We leave our stressful friendships behind in search of peace. Those things are good things and often ways that God uses to bring us to that place we need to be. But let's not forget the true maker of peace; the true giver of peace. He is the one who will bathe your spirit and your mind in <i><b>that</b></i> peace that doesn't even make sense in our natural mind. That's how he was able to walk through His life on earth - knowing what his last day would bring. That's how he was able to take those brave steps to the cross when he knew he was going to be persecuted and killed -<i><b> because He Himself is peace. </b></i></div>
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His peace is like a fire dancing in the fireplace when your bones are achy cold. His peace will carry your icy shivering heart to a warm safe place. His peace comes in the midst of your struggles, in the middle of your pain, during those debilitating circumstances and provides water in the desert.</div>
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Peace comes from knowing that <i><b>you</b></i> don't know - but <i><b>He</b></i> does. </div>
Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-68196946493809762312015-11-30T15:23:00.000-08:002015-11-30T15:23:44.791-08:00Hope<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
It was two years ago.<br />
<br />
I gazed at the twinkling lights on my Christmas tree and with a sudden pang realized that it would be the first Christmas tree that Jer and I had ever ever had that his Dad would not see. It was a strange thought that hit me out of nowhere. Not that our tree was much different than any of the other years - a couple more ornaments, but the same theme.<br />
<br />
It was a season of firsts; a season of finding our footing in the new “normal” of our lives. There was a big piece of the puzzle missing and we were discovering ways of moving forward. <br />
<br />
It wasn’t just Dad’s death that Christmas. There were a million other difficult things happening in my life in that season. A mountain of worries and concerns and battles that I was fighting both personally and for others. It was a tough time and one that I felt truly lonely in. <br />
<br />
Christmas is my favourite time of year by far. I LOVE Christmas shopping. I love the lights, the bling, the beautiful Christmas paper, the colourful ribbons. My heart literally leaps as I round the corner near my mall because I KNOW there will be tons of beauty, smiling faces, laughing children. Wild, chaotic, mesmerizing fun everywhere. <br />
<br />
But that Christmas, for a split second, I wondered if I was in the Christmas “spirit”. I wondered if I felt like celebrating. I was talking to someone who was going through some dark waters herself and she said, “I was going to put up my decorations and I just decided not to, because I wasn’t in the Christmas spirit.” I nodded in understanding and empathy. I wondered if I should convince her to put up some stuff around her house anyways - no matter what she was going through - but for what purpose? Her life was in a difficult season right then. Why can’t she just skip Christmas altogether this year and get to the part where she gets through this difficult season? I totally understood her pain.<br />
<br />
But suddenly it hit me; something that I had forgotten just for a moment. She needed to decorate. She needed to put stuff up around her house. She needed to celebrate. And I needed to too.<br />
<br />
Why? Because even though our lives were going through some painful times, even though our hearts felt like giant boulders stuck in our chest - though it seemed hard to hang on to anything that will hold our souls - there is a reason that we celebrate Christmas season.
There is a reason that we do <b>ALL</b> of this.<br />
<br />
Sometimes, in the busy-ness of the season and in the crazy adventures we find ourselves on, we forget. Truly forget. It's not about the lights, and the bling and the presents. And it’s not because we need to get gifts or because we need a giant month long interruption in our lives. It’s not because we need to spend money that we don’t have.<br />
<br />
It’s because we need to remind our selves that no matter how hard life gets - <i><b>we always have hope.</b></i> That’s what Christmas is all about. Christmas is about hope. Christmas is about a Mom and Dad cradling a tiny baby in the crook of their arms - that came to earth to save the world. It is about a God who left a perfect world to step into a fallen world and give them hope. There is always hope because there is always God.<br />
<br />
That day I chose faith instead of fear. I chose hope instead of doubt. I chose beauty instead of ashes.<br />
<br />
This year, if it just seems too hard to get through the day; if the world around you seems hopeless, come a little closer. Close your weary eyes and picture a baby born for you. Picture an innocent baby that came into a guilty world to give you hope.<br />
<br />
If you can only light a candle, do that. If you can only put some music on, do that. Find something to do to celebrate His hope. Because <i><b>that</b></i> is what it is all about...<br />
<br />
He came for me. <br />
<br />
<i><b>He came for you. </b></i></div>
Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-35876222403734556052015-11-28T10:24:00.002-08:002015-11-28T10:24:47.459-08:00Wow! More Than 10 000 Views!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h2 style="text-align: center;">
A Special Thank You Gift </h2>
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I have been very excited this last week!! On my blog, I have reached
over 10,000 views!! I so appreciate every view, every comment and every
like on my journey as a writer. I wanted to thank each of you in a way
that would bless you as if you have blessed me. I am giving away
three original hand drawn doodle Christmas colouring sheets. Please use the form below and sign up for my newsletter and I will email them to you. </div>
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<!--End mc_embed_signup-->Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-28876816431129797942015-11-26T19:58:00.000-08:002015-11-26T19:58:49.825-08:00On loving well...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
I used to see only black and white. <br />
<br />
I was that person that got mad at you if you didn’t treat me right going through the till. I was the one that let you know swiftly if my coffee wasn’t hot enough. I was that person who honked at the cars that cut me off - not to let them know that I was there but to let them know that I was super angry at them. In my mind, you were either right or wrong. Lifestyles were either right or wrong. It was black and white and I left no room for colour or for gray. <br />
<br />
I am not the opposite of who I was - I will still send my coffee back if it’s too cold. I will still ask the teller if I am inconveniencing her if she acts like I have interrupted her day. I am rarely embarrassed or hesitant to state my true feelings. But these days, I am more often asking strangers if they want prayer; if they know that Jesus loves them or if they need anything. Now, I find myself looking beyond their outward actions and looking deep within their heart, knowing that there is a person who goes through pain just like me. There before me stands a person fighting for freedom in his/her life; struggling to stay above the water. I am realizing more and more that people often carry heavy loads on their shoulders that they can’t possibly lay down at the door of their work. Instead of a rebuke, they need an outstretched hand, they need a loving and kind word from a stranger. A snide remark will stick arrows in their back for a week, while a beautiful gesture of love might possibly change their life. <br />
<br />
How interesting that Jesus actually came to earth to fulfill the law so that he could replace it with one word - love. That’s not to say that he wanted us to run around killing each other in the name of freedom. He didn't take away boundaries or conscience. But he taught us that we need to follow a path that is so much greater and at the same time, much much harder. People that live in black and white think that love is a grand cop-out. Sure, just love people. But when you think about it, when you live by the principle of love, it’s much harder than following a set of rules and the results so much better.<br />
<br />
Jesus left us with two commands. Love God and love one another. When we live by the higher law we are freer. We have added color to our lives. Life is not a simple answer. Sometimes there aren’t any easy solutions. In my years of ministry and counseling, I have learned that often there aren’t hard and fast rules for a lot of things in this life. Often, it’s hard to untangle the truth from the lie - the right from the wrong. There are so many variables. So instead of living in judgement, suddenly you realize that the better way is love. The noble gesture is a soft hand on a tired shoulder. <br />
<br />
All of us need to be loved. All of us, no matter what age, race or religion need to feel important - we need to know that we matter deeply to the world around us. <br />
<br />
I love the story in the Bible of the woman caught in adultery. The Pharisees brought the terrified woman before Jesus and told Him of her sin. Clutching stones in their hands, they were waiting for the signal from Jesus to stone her. It was simple to them. This woman was a sinner - she was caught. Stone her. What Jesus did next is a mystery to this day. As the crowd waited for his approval, silently He bent down in the dirt and began writing words on the ground. Then He looked up and simply said, “Okay, the person without any sin in their lives - YOU cast the first stone.” No one could be that person because they all knew that they had sinned in their lifetime. He then turned to the panic stricken lady who was looking on with awe in her eyes. This is what he said, “Go and sin no more.” How could he say that so casually? How could it be that easy for her to just go "and sin no more." Maybe she was in love with the man with whom she was committing adultery with. Maybe it was an addiction to her. There are so many things that we don't know about this story. This is how He was able to say it with such confidence; such conviction. Because instead of stones, she had experienced love. Instead of hate, she was bathed in kindness. Her very life was saved. And because her very life was saved with love, her soul was saved. She experienced the love of God and she was a different person.<br />
<br />
<b>Our love will change people.</b><br />
<br />
When you go to the grocery store, look for people that need your love. Keep your eyes and heart open for those that need to hear a kind word or receive a smile. <br />
<br />
Jesus didn’t tell us to love people that believed the same as us. He didn’t tell us to love in spite of... He didn’t tell us to love even though...<br />
<br />
<i><b>He simply told us to love people.</b></i> Simply love people no matter the race, no matter the religion, no matter the beliefs, and no matter the actions.<br />
<br />
<i><b>Love. </b></i><br />
<br />
That’s it.<br />
<br />
Let's take a look at three ways to love well. <br />
<br />
1. <b>Don't keep score.</b> Don't love only those people who can love you back. Don't just love people to show them you are great - you are lovely. Love them because they need to be loved, they want to be loved. Even if they can't love you back. Even if you love them in ways that are anonymous. Love them. Love someone for no reason. Love someone who you will never ever see again. Do it even if it doesn't make your name more popular; it doesn't bring anyone else into the church; it doesn't advertise ANYTHING at all - you are just showing genuine love to show love. <br />
<br />
2. <b> Love the way you want to be loved. </b> What is your love language? On any given day, what would YOU want? What would make your day? Would it bless you if someone gave you a gift - just because...? Then choose someone to give a gift to. Would you love it if someone just came up to you and gave you a compliment; told you how much they appreciate you? Then do the same for someone. Would it make your day if someone left a card for Starbucks under your windshield? Then find someone who would love the same and do it for them. Do you know what that does? It heals you. It refreshes you. It uplifts you. <i>Because love doesn't only help the one who receives it, it helps the one who gives it as well. </i><br />
<br />
3. <b> Give lavishly, wildly and generously out of your love bank today.</b> I had a pastor once who said it was always good to error on the side of grace. I adopted that saying because I LOVE it. But I want to take that a step further and say that you can never error on the side of love. One of the things on my bucket list is to stand behind someone in the grocery store and step up and say, "I want to buy her groceries." I can't wait until one day I can do that. <br />
<br />
I want to love with abandonment. I want to see my waitresses through eyes of love. I want to see my co-workers, my neighbors and those I meet, through eyes of love. I want to be motivated in my everyday life through eyes of love. Because I know that one day 2000 years ago, there was a Man who died for me. His motivation was sincere, genuine, lovely and wild love.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow, when you wake up in the morning, choose to think this very question. "Who can I love today?" When you begin to wake up every morning with this thought, it will change your life.<br />
<br />
<i><b> I promise you. </b></i> Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-57417335101089127482015-11-09T06:43:00.000-08:002015-11-09T06:43:52.913-08:00A Gift to Me<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
I was standing on the edge of a big decision and I wasn't sure if I was brave enough to jump off. I deeply wanted to go to Taiwan and celebrate with the Church there but I was also terrified of the risk. I was completely torn. I had just spent two weeks in the hospital with meningitis. The doctor that attended to me, knew how badly I wanted to go to Taiwan but doubted that I would ever get there - not this time at least. I could tell she felt sorry for me - was even trying to work it out for me but it seemed hopeless. There were so many things to work out physically.<br />
<br />
The clock was ticking and I still didn’t know if I was even <i><b>able</b></i> to go or not. I wouldn’t even think about going without getting the okay from my family doctor, my heart doctor, my rhinologist and my gynecologist (much was going on that could have led me right back to the ER so I needed her okay for sure.) My last doctor to give me the okay <i>was</i> my gynecologist and it was looking like she was the most important one for me. I was excited the day I was to visit her. I needed to let everyone know whether I was going or not.<br />
<br />
Twenty minutes before I was to have an appointment, I got a phone call telling me that she couldn’t make her appointments that day. I had to reschedule which put me only two weeks away from the trip I had already purchased long before I got meningitis. I was annoyed, but what can one do? Nothing. It seemed to take forever to get to the second appointment and then I got the phone call again - she had to go in to emergency surgery. I had to reschedule. Again. I was starting to get panicky - I was beyond the annoyed part. I still didn’t know what decision I was going to make even if everyone DID say that I could go!!<br />
<br />
Knowing whether it was even a possibility was the first step to even making the decision.<br />
<br />
Finally, I got to my appointment a <i><b>week and a half </b></i>before my scheduled date to leave the country. I sat there in her office. I actually thought that she was going to tell me that I needed an emergency hysterectomy. Instead, she said that with the latest health issues that propped up, she wouldn’t touch me with a ten foot pole unless she knew she absolutely <i><b>HAD </b></i>to.<br />
<br />
Okay.<br />
<br />
I asked her about going to Taiwan and she didn’t understand why I wouldn’t go. It was that simple. But with my complications, what if I bleed and end up back in emergency? That was my complicated question. She didn’t really have an answer for that but still didn’t think it warranted me to do anything less than live my life normally like I would if nothing was wrong. <br />
<br />
<i>It was pretty simple. She was giving me the okay. </i><br />
<br />
I left the office that day with a spring in my step - but with an incredible weight on my shoulders. It was easy for her to say that I should still live my life normally but the fact of the matter was, she could not guarantee that I wouldn’t end up back in emergency. I was an unusual case. She wasn’t sure what my body was doing. That wasn’t great insurance for me. There was so much about this trip that was nebulous - a bit like a flimsy piece of golden material swaying in the warm breeze or gusty wind. It wasn’t concrete at all. I like concrete; especially when it comes to my health.<br />
<br />
I knew I needed to give Jeremy an answer. There was only 10 days left. My job needed to know and Taiwan needed to know. I prayed about it for a day and talked to my family. My family knew how much I have invested in Taiwan, both in going and in blessing my husband to spend so much time there. They knew my love for Taiwan. They said go. <br />
<br />
I decided to go. The minute, I made the decision, I was literally panic-stricken. I had pockets of excitement but mainly I was working with some serious questions in my spirit. What if I got halfway around the world and my health started doing crazy things? There were many scenarios that danced in my head. I only had ten days to get ready for a last minute international trip. I had to get some things ready at work and get a lot ready at home. It was a crazy week.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The Sunday after I made the decision and just a week before I was to board that plane, I stood in my Church and asked God for peace. Our worship leader started leading a song that hit me in the gut. The chorus was “I’m no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God.” I raised my hands as I sung the song and let the peace wash over me - from the top of my head to the tip of my toes - over and over again. I felt like I had taken a shower in grace after the meeting. It was exactly what my soul needed. Peace had overwhelmed my spirit. It was a spiritual meeting with God. For the first time since I had made that decision, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was a good one.<br />
<br />
But as fear is what it is, the next day when I woke up, I felt a knawing again at the corners of my heart. I battled it. I talked to God a lot and asked him to confirm that I was supposed to go. Again.<br />
<br />
Immediately, he brought a story to my mind from the bible. It was the story of Peter. Peter was in the boat and as he stood looking out over the oceans suddenly he saw a figure of a man or ghost walking on the water. He didn’t really know what it was. It terrified him and intrigued him at the same time. Immediately, he wondered if it was Jesus. He said, “Jesus if that is you - tell me to come to you.” I am sure that Peter did not think Jesus would say come even if it was him. Only Jesus could walk on water. But Peter was eager. He was one of those guys who wanted to please, wanted to experience life with everything he had. He gave life 110 per cent. Sometimes, he said silly things and this was one of those times. I wonder if he thought Jesus would just sort of rebuke him and say just wait for me to get there. Why was Peter so anxious to meet him? Why couldn’t he just wait. Because with all that was within Peter, he wanted to see Jesus. That was his life's passion. He was willing to risk anything - even death in order to be with Jesus.<br />
<br />
Jesus said, “Come.” and Peter knew it was him. He knew that this was Jesus who held out his arms to him - it was not a ghost and nothing - not even a vast ocean or the waves that were bigger than the boat was going to stop him from meeting with the one that he loved most. <br />
<br />
He climbed out of the boat. I am sure his legs were wobbling. It was exhilirating and terrifying at the same time. As Peter stepped out of that boat, he was taking the biggest faith step that he had ever taken. He was leaving the boat that was so comfortable to him. He was leaving the familiarity of the friends, and the safety that the boat represented. He was leaving it all behind in order to walk on water - something that humans can’t do.<br />
<br />
This is what I felt the Lord saying to me. I was leaving everything familiar to me. I was leaving the hospital that had kept me alive in the summer. I was leaving the doctors who knew my case inside and out and I was leaving family. I was leaving it all to follow Jesus and Jesus was asking me to make that faith step. It was such revelation to me that I knew the Lord would be with me.<br />
<br />
The next day at our little Christian school, we had Bible time with all the students. The young man got up and said, “I want to tell you a little story. His name was Peter and he walked on water...” <br />
<br />
<br />
Two weeks later, as I stood in a group of two thousand people crammed into the Banner Church - others pressing to get into the shut doors, I stood with my hands raised I realized that that day was a significant day.<br />
<br />
Some people never get to see the fruit of their labour. Some people spend hours, weeks, years working, striving, pushing toward certain goals, toward breakthrough in something and often people never see the outcome of all that hard work; they never see it come dancing fully alive before their eyes.<br />
<br />
That day, I saw it.<br />
<br />
I saw the fruit of leaving my kids, many years in a row to go to Taiwan. I saw the fruit of kissing my husband good bye even when it felt better to keep him home. Through pregnancy, through treacherous teen years, through difficult toddler years - saying good bye and giving my husband the blessing to go - knowing that God would take care of me. I saw the pay-off of hours of prayers and tears and love poured out to a Church that was our home when we were in Taiwan. As I stood there, I realized that the Lord was giving me this - all the sacrifice of all those years wrapped up in a big red bow and handing it back to me. It felt freeing. It felt right and itt felt humbling. <br />
<br />
Standing there, arms open wide, heart full to the brim, I knew that even though I didn't have a lot of money, I was a very rich lady indeed. <br />
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<br />Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-37038955171217785722015-11-06T13:26:00.000-08:002015-11-06T13:26:11.602-08:00When the Son Sets You Free...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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"I have lost almost 40 pounds," I said triumphantly.<br />
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My heart doctor just looked at me. I thought he would be thrilled. Instead, he totally ignored me. For a second I wondered if he even believed me. Maybe he thought I was embellishing the fact. (Mind you, I DID lose twenty of those pounds with my "meningitis diet", which is by the way not endorsed by doctors and certainly not recommended by me.)<br />
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He just kept talking about how I needed to lose weight. "Even twenty or thirty pounds would help a lot." He said it so flippantly - like every pound didn't cost me sweat, blood, tears, and more tears. "Skinny mini, like me," I heard him say. Then he laughed, amused at his own joke. He laughed like it didn't take months to shed every pound and weeks to gain it all back.<br />
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I felt disheartened for a second and then I realized that he was right. I really wanted a pat on the back for the weight that I had already lost but the truth is, I can't go on living at this rate either. He was trying to push me forward - encourage me to keep pressing on - in a "skinny, eccentric doctor" sort of way.<br />
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The other day, I was talking to God about losing weight as I often do. The difficulty, the frustration - all of that. I realize that it's a journey. But sometimes, it's a very hard journey. <br />
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I was impressed with a Scripture that I thought, you as my readers, would like to hear as well. It's in John 8:36 and it says, "When the Son sets you free, you are free indeed."<br />
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<i><b>I LOVE that!</b></i><br />
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Do you have an addiction to food? I know that I do. Do you reach for the chocolate when you are depressed? I know that I do! Do you choose food to feed your soul when you should be choosing other things? I do that as well.<br />
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For me, it may be food. For you, it may be alcohol, or video games or sleep - whatever you are addicted to as a way to dull the pain that life sometimes brings. <br />
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The point is, Jesus wants to set us free. It says right there in the Bible - if He sets you free, then friend you <i><b>ARE FREE</b></i>!!!! No more addictions, no more pain associated with food, no more imbalance when it comes to food. It's time to invite, Jesus the healer of our whole bodies, into that part of our lives. He wants to heal you from the inside out. He desires our freedom - body, mind and spirit.<br />
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We can do this!!Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-71684275695727237732015-11-02T06:39:00.001-08:002015-11-02T06:39:57.082-08:00Trust<br />
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“Do you deal with anxiety?” The nurse asked me sharply. Did I hear a hint of judgement in her voice?</div>
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I looked at her through half closed drugged eyes. “Yes.” was all I could say.<br />
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I turned and looked out the window. My blood pressure was rapidly climbing a steep and dangerous hill, my heart rate was going through the roof, they were talking about an emergency hysterectomy - all of which was totally unrelated to the illness of MENINGITIS that brought me to the hospital in the first place.<br />
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I guess that that was not enough to feel anxious, I thought sarcastically as I looked at her. I was too weak to say it to her.<br />
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“Just try to relax.” She said as she hooked me up to some more antibiotics. “Oh, " I thought, "Yes, I could do that. Completely forgot about THAT option.” The thought danced through my head as I smiled weakly. <br />
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She wasn’t being mean. She was a woman who had never experienced anything that I was experiencing at that moment. That’s all.<br />
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I had been at home and trying to push thoughts of meningitis out of my head as my neck began its incline - pounding and pounding more furiously. Surely I wouldn’t have meningitis again. I just had it three years ago. I shook my head. NO, I was just nervous about it. I asked Jeremy for a Tylenol 3 and kept doodling in my notebook as a way to distract my run away terrifying thoughts.<br />
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It was a beautiful day. Warm, no wind. Simply lovely outside as we sat on our deck. The Tylenol with codeine took the edge off of my headache. Slightly at least. We set up a table and started to play a game we like to play - Settlers of Catan. <br />
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The pain came back with more intensity than before and it was only an hour after I had had my medicine. I couldn’t take any more medicine at this point.<br />
I kept playing the game. I tried to convince myself that there was nothing to worry about - it would blow over. Tomorrow would be a better day. I was fast losing my argument. <br />
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I went inside to lay on the couch. I put something under my neck as I laid my head on the arm of the cool couch, pressing hard to take the pressure off just above the neck. I hated laying like this because it reminded me of the last time I had meningitis. Such awful memories. I tried laying another way but this was the best way. It took a little bit of the pressure pressure pressure that I was feeling. Oh so much PRESSURE and pain. <br />
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The next time I had Tylenol, it didn’t touch the pain that was escalating. It didn’t even take the edge off. I was concerned. Jeremy asked if he should plan to take me in to the hospital. I didn’t know. Darn, I hate this. The wondering, the fear, the complete and overwhelming pain. I didn’t want to revisit this season of my life EVER. EVER. <br />
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Surely surely if I just laid down again, if I just calmed myself down. <br />
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<i><b> Then it happened. </b></i><br />
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The sick sick feeling in my stomach -the knowing that I was going to throw up. I grabbed a bucket. Yes, I needed to go in. NOW. It would only get worse and when you know you have meningitis then you know you only have a short window before this horrible disease could become your worst nightmare. My son and his girlfriend were there so they could watch my youngest son, as Jer brought me to the ER.<br />
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Because this wasn’t the first time I had meningitis, they took me right in. They wheeled me to a tiny room. As I lay there in the hospital bed with people working around me, I couldn't stop the spinning of the room. It spun faster and faster and faster until I threw up -again and again and again. I couldn't stop throwing up and I felt like I was dying. I wondered if I had gotten there too late. They couldn’t give me anything for nausea or pain until the doctor saw me about four hours later. Four hours later I was hooked up to pain medicines and nausea and a bunch of things for my heart and blood pressure. I had nurses around me constantly attending to me. They were as concerned about my heart as they were about my meningitis. They seemed to be focusing on both - equally. <br />
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After a couple of days of being in the hospital, there was an issue with my uterus doing some crazy things and I was losing a lot of blood. The doctor came in and told me she was considering a blood transfusion because my iron was so low and I was very critically anemic. One morning, I was visited by the on call doctor several times. I was visited by my heart doc, my neurologist and they wanted to hook me up with a gynecologist. <br />
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I was petrified. It felt like I was stuck in a hopeless situation - like I was swimming with hungry sharks and at any second one was going to devour me for his snack. There was nowhere to turn that was safe. I sat there on my bed and thought ironically that my life’s message was hope and here I found myself in this dark hole of endless hopelessness. Nothing at that moment felt like it was going right.<br />
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Then the Lord very clearly spoke to my spirit. He said, “Do you trust me?” I answered honestly. I answer the Lord honestly because he knows my thoughts anyways. I simply said, “I really really don’t know. I don’t know if I can trust you. And I am really scared.” I didn’t feel his anger. I didn’t feel his indignation. I just felt honestly scared. <br />
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As I sat there to process it all my chest started hurting. Not a lot but just a little. I rubbed my back and chest a little. I tried to forget about it. Really I had pain everywhere. Meningitis kicks you in the butt without all the other stuff that was happening in my body. But the pain wouldn’t go away. It wasn’t sharp - it was more like pressure pain. I called the nurse and casually told her. When you are in the hospital and they are worried about your heart, there is no CASUALLY telling ANYONE that your heart is hurting. I was briskly wheeled down to the Cat Scan room where they did a Cat Scan of my lungs. I was sure everything was okay. I even felt a little bit embarrassed about the whole thing - I was just being silly and over aware of everything that was happening in my body. As soon as I got wheeled back to the room a nurse rushed in and said that I had to have an emergency ultrasound on my legs. She seemed nervous - this wasn’t routine. Something about blood clots and where did they come from? Panic gripped me with a strong and cruel grasp. Things were spinning out of control. <br />
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It felt like the world was closing in on me. I was terrified. More terrified than I have ever been. It felt like the life was being choked out of me. Everywhere I turned there was something to be afraid of. And it wasn’t just little things - each one was life threatening. Each thing could claim my life. When the nurse left me alone, I wasn’t sure if I could make it another minute. I looked up to the sky and said, “yes, I trust you God because I just need to right now. I trust you. ” I said that physically, but spiritually and emotionally it felt like I fell into his arms. I needed Him more than anything. <br />
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Immediately, when I said that I felt my world expanding, My breaths came in big refreshing gulps and it was as if a warm blanket of peace settled over me. Nothing had changed. Everything was still critical, but I had decided to trust Jesus through it all.<br />
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In that very moment, I realized something. Trust is not putting your hand in God’s and believing that everything will turn out all right. Trust is not KNOWING that you are going to be successful and free of pain and sickness. Because in reality there is pain and sickness; and Jesus never promised that we would be exempt from these things. Trust is putting your tiny hand in God’s strong, mighty one and saying, “I know that you can walk me through whatever lies before me in the big black hole of unknowing.” Trust is a decision and trust is completely spiritual and utterly supernatural.<br />
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That day, I was changed. Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-4589276763543760592015-07-31T21:30:00.000-07:002015-10-31T15:04:57.335-07:00Freedom<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Have you ever been on a diet and you were so good and you didn’t stray and you didn’t do bad - you made all the right decisions and ate all the right things and then one day… one day something happened? You don’t really know what it was because you were doing so good - you were behaving so well but this day was different. You saw that bit of ice-cream or you saw that cookie and you thought that maybe you could do it. Maybe it would be okay just to take a bit and then you could go right back on your diet. And you would have been right. You could take a little bite and you could go right back on your diet and REALLY it would be okay. I don’t like to call it a diet because it shouldn’t be called a diet. It should be called a lifestyle of eating healthy. But I digress.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You reach out for the cookie or the ice-cream or whatever it may be. You notice that your hands are trembling a bit. You notice that your body feels a little uncomfortable. You have done so good so far and you don’t want to blow it. Slowly you reach out. Slowly you grasp that thing that you want to consume. So many mixed feelings. So many emotions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> And then it happens. You put it in your mouth, you chew, you swallow and...nothing happens. The policeman doesn’t come out and grab you by the scruff of the neck and take you off to jail. Lightening doesn’t come from the sky in billowing shrieks and strike you unconscious. You don’t get ill and feel like your stomach is going to explode like a million little marbles in a paper bag made too small. In fact nothing at all happens.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You were so focused for so long. You were so careful for so long. You made all the right decisions and didn’t sway and didn’t get off the beaten path that somehow you thought that one small bite would be destructive to you in some way. And suddenly there is a freedom that you have not felt in a long time. Suddenly you know that you can eat and you won’t go to jail. Suddenly you experience the freedom of being able to eat what you want to eat, when you want to eat because you are an adult and you are the master of your own body and it feels like you can breathe again. Suddenly…</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You see, this would be okay if it was a calculated bite of food or you didn't <i>continue</i> to reach for the box of twinkles. I am not advocating living in a straight jacket or never eating unhealthy things you love again. Food was meant to be loved and enjoyed. <i><b>In the confounds of discipline. </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have felt this before. I have felt the freedom of being so disciplined and so careful and when I finally throw all caution to the wind, it feels as if I have found some new found freedom and I love it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Until that new found freedom gives me twenty more pounds around the waist and sends me searching for clothes that actually look good on me. It’s an odd thing - this thing we call life. Sometimes what we feel is freedom, sometimes what we call our right or our license is really that actual thing that puts us in bondage. It’s a fine line really and we have to always have our eyes open to what we are sensing, what we are feeling and what licenses we are taking. Sometimes what you deem as freedom is not really freedom at all and suddenly you realize 10, 20 or 30 pounds later that it was actually those actions, those " <i>freedoms</i>" that were putting you in bondage again. You feel completely wrapped up head to toe in the bondage of food again (or whatever holds you captive.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> True freedom comes only in finding that discipline of life. Freedom comes in understanding the dance between what is real freedom and what is a lie - what is counterfeit. There are all sorts of counterfeit freedoms around you in this world. Freedom to cheat on your spouse, freedom to cheat on your taxes, freedom to live unencumbered by what anyone thinks and before you know it, you can’t breathe, you can’t move, you can’t live because the very thing you thought was freeing you was actually sucking the life out of you slowly like a a python slowly sucks the life out of his prey.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Be very careful what you deem as freedom. Be very careful of those fluttery feelings that come from being disciplined for so long and then taking a liberty in something. Keep yourself in check and you will be okay. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What we don’t always understand is that freedom doesn’t come free. The very word freedom deems a sort of free life; a life completely absent of cares and worries and disciplines and careful consideration. But quite the opposite is real freedom. Real freedom comes at a great cost and that cost is being intentional, being careful and calculated. We work for freedom. We strive for freedom. We push for freedom; all words that seem opposite of what the words insinuates. But without working for it you are left with nothing but the fake fleeting face of freedom. Everything beautiful costs something. Everything worth having in life, takes time and effort and so much work.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Freedom will cost us a lot.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But the cost, my friend, is so worth it. </span></div>
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Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-8439950363474952762015-07-24T15:08:00.000-07:002015-10-31T15:02:59.376-07:00Sandwiches are okay<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Have you ever sat in a room full of ladies that were on a diet? Everyone around you in the office is munching on various green leaves or some other form of rabbit food. Slowly, almost timidly - hoping no one is looking your way - you slide out your....SANDWICH!! G A S P! She is eating bread?!?! Doesn't she know that bread has carbs in it? Doesn't she know that bread will make her<i><b> fat</b></i>? Doesn't she know that if she WANTS to lose weight, then she <i><b>can't</b></i> eat that?!?!<br />
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Or maybe you DID bring the green leafy goodness and you left the bread to consume in the privacy of your own home. You open the lid of your salad and "feel the gaze" turning towards your salad. Where is the MEAT? No wonder she is 432 pounds. (I am not FYI.) She doesn't eat enough <b>protein</b>!!!<br />
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The moral of these stories? Do what's best for you and for your lifestyle. I think the important thing is to understand who you are and what you can do to KEEP it off forever. Losing weight and staying fit and healthy will always be a battle between carrots and turtle cheesecake. There will always be war and some days and seasons will be easier than others. But realize this - once you fight the addiction of food, that battle will never be far way from you. Once you can realize that, you can slide in for the long haul and understand that this is a journey and not so much <i>just about</i> the destination of "goal weight."<br />
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For me, I have decided that I am simply going to exercise more and eat less. The reason that I am doing this is because I feel like I can do that forever. If I choose something that I can't stick with forever, then I am setting myself up for failure and tears over pounds coming back far too quickly and easily. I already run the risk of crashing - but if I take bread (or another food group) out of the equation and decide that's how I am going to lose weight, the risk is higher. I want to minimalize my risk. I want to make it as easy as possible for me to keep that weight off and keep myself healthy because lets' face it, I really like easy. I like easy much more than difficult.<br />
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But if you are up for a certain diet, a certain fad, I have known lots of people that have gone that route and have been super successful. I have known people that have had operations and it's worked for them, big time.<br />
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Again, the idea is this: to know YOU; to know YOUR body; to know the way YOU tick. And then stick to it. Make a decision and stick to it. Don't get pulled into the latest fad or the latest book or the latest shake JUST because everyone else is doing it. Do it because its right for YOU. The reason anything works really is because we are just aware (no matter what kind of system that we are on) of what we are consuming and we are intentionally doing something different to get different results in our body. What you choose to do in order to see those same results (health and weight loss) is entirely up to you. Be comfortable with what you choose.<br />
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Once you have decided what you are going to do, you can hold your head high when you unearth your sandwich from your lunch kit or bring your salad with only a few scrapings of humble and measly tuna fish . You can smile knowing that you are within your calorie range, or your point range or your nutrition range and you have a plan. You have a goal and you are sticking to it.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Thai Lettuce Wraps</b></i></span><br />
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I fried onion and garlic and then two chicken breasts. Then I grated carrots and added finely chopped cabbage to the chicken. I fried them until they were very soft. (My throat has been hurting and I have been having problems with my jaw so I wanted something soft.) I then added a sauce that consisted of peanut butter, soy sauce, sweet chili sauce and crushed red peppers. I also added cilantro and let that simmer until it was even more soft. We scooped it up into big leaves of romaine lettuce and it was yum!! <br />
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Enjoy!<br />
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Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-63987449755422453962015-07-13T09:30:00.000-07:002015-07-13T12:24:23.110-07:00On closets and simplicity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtp3jhmhh4ZxV7eJs-o0okLQ9z8iBvhHbGz3_WeGIxfCVWkVDRbCxHE5G8_8jlGamc8LF7mKC77pIIvaAm2pIm7GuLDS6SOfa2KT8Lv5bL1_I88qrgkOT_2x-O8DM281b10s0fNUKjH9nG/s1600/blogger-image--473880516.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtp3jhmhh4ZxV7eJs-o0okLQ9z8iBvhHbGz3_WeGIxfCVWkVDRbCxHE5G8_8jlGamc8LF7mKC77pIIvaAm2pIm7GuLDS6SOfa2KT8Lv5bL1_I88qrgkOT_2x-O8DM281b10s0fNUKjH9nG/s400/blogger-image--473880516.jpg" width="300" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> A few
months ago, I cleaned out my entrance way closet. It was so cluttered
and so messy, I couldn't fit my coats in there anymore. I couldn't shut
the door and I was always mortified when company needed to get in
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I cleaned it, it felt wonderful. It felt like a piece of peace right
there in my entrance way. It was completely refreshing and absolutely
freeing to all of us. <br /><br />I think our lives are like that sometimes. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">On<span style="font-family: inherit;">ce in a while</span></span> we need to take a good hard look at our lives and see what is working and see what is not. Sometimes we have to weed out the things that aren't useful and that make our lives messy. This is where the tricky part comes in. Often we have to determine what that is. We have to decide if it should still be in there but better organized. Sometimes what worked in the beginning just doesn't work now. You have to decide that. You have to decide what will bring peace to your closet and to your life.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br />Do you have bitterness</i>? Get rid of that. It will only be clutter for you. <br /><br /><i>Do you entertain jealousy</i>? Throw that away. There isn't any room in your closet for that.<br /><br /><i>Are you too busy</i>? Do you equate busyness with acceptance; being crazy busy with being important? Remember your kids don't need you to save the world. <i> They need you to be there for them.</i> Present and in the moment - in <i><b>their</b></i> moments. Don't buy into the lie that the busier you are, the better your life is<span style="font-family: inherit;"> or the more loved or in demand you are. </span> <br /><br /><i>Are you leaving room for harmful relationships</i>? Sometimes when you have harmful relationships, you leave no room for the good ones. It's like the coat that hangs in your closet that is too big or too small or too something but you leave it there because you think that one day you can fix it. Get rid of it. Make room for the coats that fit you. <br /><br /><b>Just because you can stuff it all in and close the door doesn't mean you can do it well. It doesn't mean it looks pretty.</b> <br /><br />I want my life to be like that entrance way closet is now. When I walk in the door, I look to my right and take in a big gulp of peace. It feels like I can breathe better when I see order. I want people to look at me and feel the same way. I want people to look at me and see peace. <i><b>I</b></i> want to look at me and see peace. </span></span><br />
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Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-39866775769208196172015-05-25T06:49:00.000-07:002015-06-19T15:40:51.182-07:00Springtime<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHm503mTOCt4ovVU1vC-zgLqxxcKphjf0FzbvVPCMMLcv9yfuc4_kGjHQWIYrRKHPRyhZbYSUb1ZDSq_VgNuq0OIzrFili0JeoEShNAPht5LHbDrZs3HzpEbbqxLOTN7gE4tKHPE-6REJn/s1600/blogger-image--1190634994.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMb4PhMr5FkCy3Y-gZLXBIxrJa9xoz9KgincqxWR4CyNX3BZ-3ud13D5vVXokgJxgFQuJdlqTA6L9Z7H0ZkrfoXgMcSownbxs1ALI3t61L2Xh4g9CRHcJaXlepA-4K4O5XYYd3vug-E-Qh/s640/blogger-image--671608515.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMb4PhMr5FkCy3Y-gZLXBIxrJa9xoz9KgincqxWR4CyNX3BZ-3ud13D5vVXokgJxgFQuJdlqTA6L9Z7H0ZkrfoXgMcSownbxs1ALI3t61L2Xh4g9CRHcJaXlepA-4K4O5XYYd3vug-E-Qh/s1600/blogger-image--671608515.jpg" /></a><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHm503mTOCt4ovVU1vC-zgLqxxcKphjf0FzbvVPCMMLcv9yfuc4_kGjHQWIYrRKHPRyhZbYSUb1ZDSq_VgNuq0OIzrFili0JeoEShNAPht5LHbDrZs3HzpEbbqxLOTN7gE4tKHPE-6REJn/s640/blogger-image--1190634994.jpg" width="480" /><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXCFubtHtC0vEvHit8bHaM_tZR8fUSdw_D-9sdvyRKQpwzPNvu5ByrqXbNkcUn-Bf-XRPTzvTHyYC0Y4RDQHvA8HcIM_0CbZjIiKs9eOZ7jxGGfz-jl1tvS_GRYNZLxCCFJVnTBM31-jwv/s400/blogger-image-1165881324.jpg" width="300" /></div>
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This time of year is undeniably my favorite time of year (until I get to Christmastime.) This is the season when the whole world around awakens from the winter, pushes up from the ground and yells in unison, "I can do it. I can be beautiful. I can be strong. I can<i><b> LIVE</b></i>!" <br />
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As I was walking around Henderson Lake the other day I saw the usual people. There are the runners you can tell hit the gym in the wintertime but are busting out into the wide open spaces to enjoy their runs. There are the amblers who just enjoy snapping pictures of beauty all around them with their iPhones (that would be me) and there are the serious photographers out there armed with their 20 foot long lenses and their tripods in hopes of capturing the perfect National Geographic photo. The sweethearts are sauntering down the lane hand in hand gazing at each other with a "this will last forever" star in their eyes. At the same there is the sweet older couple: she with a carved cane in her hand and he with pure white thinning hair, talking quietly to each as they hobble gingerly down the uneven terrain. Still others have parked themselves on benches scattered here and there, relaxing with a good book in their hands and wide rimmed hats on their heads to shield them from the bright sun. <br />
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My life message is hope. My passion is hope. Everything about this season screams hope - the land, the flowers and our hearts as we crawl out of our four stuffy walls to enjoy the sunshine that God has given us after such a long and sometimes cruel winter. <br />
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This day, walking around the pristine lake, with the birds overhead and the geese paddling close by in the water, I celebrate hope again. </div>
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Happy springtime everyone!!</div>
Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-57770780924700613522015-05-19T20:13:00.001-07:002015-05-19T20:15:33.374-07:00Butterfly Wings<br />
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<span style="color: black;">My nine year old son said it and it <i><b>gripped</b></i> me. <span style="font-size: large;"> <i>I couldn't let it go.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">He came home from the school the other day with a gift that he had made for Mother’s Day. It was a really sweet gift. It was a small canvas painted orange because it is my favorite color. On the canvas were several butterflies that were punched out from a hole punch. It was punched from paper that Sean had also painted. It was a beautiful piece of artwork that I am so excited to display on my walls.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Then he said it. </b></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">He pointed to a butterfly that had blunt wings instead of pointed and rounded wings like all the others. He said sweetly, “Mom, I had to hide this from the teacher because if she would have seen it, she would have had me throw it away because it’s not like the others. But Mom, I didn’t want to throw it away because it’s a rare butterfly. I knew you would see that too - and we don’t throw away rare butterflies!” he exclaimed, his eyes shining proudly. <br /><br /> I looked at him. <b>He got it. Life - in a nutshell - he got it.</b> <i>Don’t throw away the butterfly because it doesn’t look exactly like all the others. </i> <br /><br />He wasn’t ashamed of it. He didn’t hide the blunt wings under another butterfly. He didn’t put it on the bottom out of the way. He put it right on the top in the center! It was a treasured butterfly to him. <br /><br />It reminded me of a workshop I went to the other day. I came away from that evening with a thought from the main speaker that captured my heart. So many times we look at certain students and we wonder how we can <b>fix</b> them. In actuality we don’t need to fix them at all. We need to see the beauty, the uniqueness and the rarity of their beautiful souls. We need to grab ahold of their strengths and capitalize on them. Our goal isn’t to change them, to make them look like all the other humans - like cookie cutter people. Our job is to spur them on into greatness. It’s not about fixing them. It’s completely about accepting them right where they are at. It’s about seeing their strength and their uniqueness. It’s <u><i><b>not</b></i></u> about clipping their wings so that they match the others. We don’t need to match. We need to live our own story and let others live theirs. We need to let them be great in their own greatness and not measure greatness by our standard.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">We were never meant to be a clone or a replica of the person next to us. <span style="font-size: large;"><i><b> We were meant to be deeply and completely ourselves - wildly and weirdly different and unique and messy and perfect in every way. </b></i></span> We are all broken in some way or another - all of us show our brokenness in different ways. All of us are accepted by the Beloved - by Jesus. Jesus didn't tell us that he would love us when we healed ourselves. He told us that he would love us no matter what and it's in the love that the healing comes. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Those of us who work with people on a regular basis - let's not look at the ones with different wings and wonder how we can hide them or change them. Let our questions be different. Let's ask ourselves how we can love them where they are at, believe in them genuinely and help them to live and tell their story well. Let them have a voice. Let them see their importance in their world. We need their voice. <i><b> We need their story and their magic.</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I once heard someone say that they hated potential. I remember it clearly - I snickered and wholeheartedly agreed. I understand what he meant - that sometimes potential was another way of saying that they just weren't measuring up to what they could be doing in life; that they were sitting on their butts while they could be leading something great; or being someone grande. He was really talking about potential wasted. I got it then. But I don't agree anymore. I love potential. Because potential means greatness. Potential means hope. It is our job as caregivers, as nurturers, to tap into that potential. To lead them to the vast wide field of potential and let them see with their own eyes what they can do and what they can accomplish with their own voice; it's our job to give them hope. It's not our job to lead them to the "good little boy" next to them and ask them to be like him. <b>The picture is so much bigger; so much wider than that.</b> <br /><br />Pastors, Teachers, Parents, don't try to fix the butterflies that don't have wings like the others. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Don’t try to change them. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Don’t try to make them conform. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><i><b>Do</b></i> love them. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><i><b>Do</b></i> be proud of them. <i><b> </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><i><b>Do</b></i> see their beauty. </span></div>
<span style="color: black;"><br />Please, please, please don’t throw away the butterfly with the straight wings. <br /><br /> It’s rare.<br /><br /> We need it’s beauty. </span><br />
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Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7992455153815899715.post-65470177175739169902015-03-23T06:26:00.000-07:002015-03-23T06:34:03.094-07:00Be Brave<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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There was a woman in the Bible. </div>
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<b>She was terrified. </b></div>
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<b>She was filled with shame and remorse. </b></div>
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<b>But still she found herself being brave. </b></div>
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You could feel the pulse of the unspoken terror as she faltered into the room full of judgmental people; full of people ready to mock and demean her. The stale air was stifling with anger and scorn directed solely at her. She tried not to listen to the hushed whispers of ridicule. She hid her eyes at the faces of disapproving people. But she felt it. She felt it in every fibre of her being as she found herself collapsing at the feet of Jesus and began washing his feet with her costly perfume. Because it was there that she knew she would find freedom. It was at the feet of Jesus she would find healing for her very soul. Being brave, she could muster - if she knew that there was freedom at the end of that pain-filled and humiliating journey. It was a moment in time, where a woman deemed to be filthy, deemed to be wrong and reprobate of morals collided with the greatest Man of all history. There was nothing that could happen but a miracle.</div>
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It was a brave moment for a young boy to timidly walk up to a man called Andrew and cautiously, with trembling hands, lift up his tiny lunch; to let them have it to feed whoever they deemed necessary. I wonder what Andrew did? Did he laugh or did he politely take the lunch knowing that it was nothing - just a small lunch. The very act of bravery that turned a few loaves into a feast, an ordinary day into a miracle and a little boy into a history maker. What a full heart he must have had that day when he skipped back home. <i>His little lunch fed 5000 people</i>!!</div>
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For some of us, being brave is just getting out of bed in the morning; just showing up with a smile on our face; putting one step in front of the other even though it seems you are walking through mollases. For some, it means grabbing onto our next grand adventure; or stepping into that destiny that's been before you all along. For others, it may be staying in a marriage that you know you are supposed to fight for or making amends with a person with whom a relationship was long ago, grieved.</div>
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I don't know what being brave for you today is. I don't know what it looks like in your life. But this is what I <i><b>do</b></i> know. I know that you can do it.<br />
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In John 16:33, Jesus says, "Take heart for I have overcome the world." If you look at the whole chapter, you will find that being brave to the disciples meant that they might die for the cause of their faith. It meant that they would tell people about Jesus, they would live for Him even in the very face of grave danger. That's what bravery was to the disciples after Jesus left this earth. But Jesus told them that it was okay because He would give their souls peace and that the very world was in God's hands.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i> What does this mean to us?</i></span> It means that we have to shift our prospective a little. It means we have to realize that there is a bigger picture that we don't see but that God sees it and that's good enough. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i> It means that even in the midst of being afraid God will blanket our souls with his peace.</i></b></span> </div>
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<b> Being brave doesn't mean <i>not ever</i> being scared</b>. Absolutely not - that's not bravery at all. It means being so scared you can't move. It means that the world stops around you but you <b>will</b> yourself to inch forward even if in slow motion. Sometimes it means being terrified but making that decision to do it anyhow; to face it anyhow; to be that person you want to become. That's bravery. <i>Doing it anyhow. </i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Your life may begin the day you choose to be brave. </b></i></span></div>
<br />Faithhazellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07414331369066322223noreply@blogger.com1